Spec me an escape!

[theNude]

I am at work in my windowless office on the ground floor, its 8:20pm. I've been here since 11am and i am tired.

I wish to go home, i need a pee really badly and i am hungry for the peri peri chicken dominos i am about to purchase for a mere $5.

HOWEVER...

Today i have forgotton my keys and due to me doing a 'late' one the company upstairs have gone home for the evening, locking the security grills up which go over my front door.

I am therefore trapped in my office! with no toilet! (its in the court yard)

There is just one locked grilled keeping me from the toilet and my pizza goal.

HELP ME!!! or if somone is in Bondi Junction please buy pizza, one large bottle of water and come, you can squeeze the pizza and the bottle through the bars!

 

[Participant]

Quick! etc...

Good luck with your escape attempts though.

 

[floatindolphin]

you're on the internet, order food online for delivery

 

[J.B]

What?

 

[Fenris]

Your sig is vastly inappropriate.

Be a man, gnaw through the bars.

 

[Qu3]

Chuck Norris wouldn't need to ask how to escape..

 

[Wossi]

This may sound unusual but bare with me here.

Have you actually tried ringing anyone you know who has a key and can let you out?

 

[mac1st3]

trolltastic, there is no way they'd lock you in, a) if there's no amenities to your convenience ie toilet etc, and b) it's a massive fire risk/health and safety issue.

So, in short, no employer would be stupid enough to leave themselves open to such a large lawsuit opportunity

 

[Guerrilla]

Have you actually tried ringing anyone you know who has a key and can let you out?

This was my first thought... Is that too sensible?

 

[sbi5ar]

This was my first thought... Is that too sensible?

Far Far too sensible for this tim eof the morning

 

[theNude]

trolltastic, there is no way they'd lock you in, a) if there's no amenities to your convenience ie toilet etc, and b) it's a massive fire risk/health and safety issue.

So, in short, no employer would be stupid enough to leave themselves open to such a large lawsuit opportunity

Its a shared office, the people upstairs didnt check i had left before locking up, it wouldnt be a fire hazard if i remembered my keys, but at this present moment it is.

you can open the door from inside but the grill is locked with a key only!! i am the only one with the very front door key (there is a gate into the court yard which my office is off) i will take my laptop to take a picture!

 

[floatindolphin]

Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?

 

[theNude]

Have you ever seen a man **** into the water cooler bottle? I have

 

[Von Smallhausen]

Panic not.

Have you considered holding your breath and flushing yourself down the toilet ? You could escape via the nearest drain cover.

 

[theNude]

There is no inside toilet!, fear not my drunken flat mate is walking the keys up as we speak!

i hope he has the right keys, doesnt walk too slowly (30min walk) and can find the office based on my vague directions!

 

[Saundie]

I really enjoy these "Oh no, predicament! Quickly, to the internet" style threads. In the unlikely event that this is a serious situation, I recommend laughing with Von Smallhausen;

Have you considered holding your breath and flushing yourself down the toilet?

In a similar vein, I recommend watching this fantastic video; http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-video-8963542-running-water.php. The best part is, it automatically repeats!

 

[Participant]

trolltastic, there is no way they'd lock you in, a) if there's no amenities to your convenience ie toilet etc, and b) it's a massive fire risk/health and safety issue.

So, in short, no employer would be stupid enough to leave themselves open to such a large lawsuit opportunity

It's happened where I work. Are you saying mistakes never happen?

 

[Von Smallhausen]

Alternatively, ring the local council and tell them you have a child and have lied about the catchment area for his or her school and give your location.

No doubt they will dispatch heavily clipboard armed agents to force entry thus enabling your escape.

 

[Bleek]

Be a man, gnaw through the bars.

He'd slap a Chuck shaped hole through those shutters with the tip of his manhood, something akin to the 'one inch punch'.

 

[mac1st3]

Its a shared office, the people upstairs didnt check i had left before locking up, it wouldnt be a fire hazard if i remembered my keys, but at this present moment it is.

you can open the door from inside but the grill is locked with a key only!! i am the only one with the very front door key (there is a gate into the court yard which my office is off) i will take my laptop to take a picture!

It's happened where I work. Are you saying mistakes never happen?

fair enough, just an initial reaction I guess, sue away then

surely there must be a fire exit/back door?