Sperm question...

PardonTheWait · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:33

do_ron_ron said:
Apparently, sperm have different functions - only a fraction are meant to have a chance to fertilise the egg, others are used as blockers.

So it's like Roller Derby?

DampCat · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:34

_PD_ said:
They must have some instinct, or you'd get half coming back again and none of them would really get anywhere.

Not really. this is why there are 15 million per ejaculation and most (and sometimes all) of them die.

(i think it's 15 million. I'm not about to go searching for "Ejactulation" at work)

PardonTheWait · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:34

malfunkshun said:
Hmm, I'm not so sure. I remember one or two ladies where the vast majority of sperm ended up back on my sheets . Though that may say more about said ladies than the sperm themselves

That's because their high-class vaginas rejected your lowly sperm

Hnnnngh *splup*

James07 · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:34

Lmao, trying not to laugh at work is hard!

Ive just seen the other thread where some guy enlarged the word porn and splattede it on my screen and then someone quoted it, and now this.

Barely controlling my little outbursts of laughter!

Should really work instead of been on here shouldnt i..

randal · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:35

D.P. said:
The sperm are unicellular. What do you expect them to do? Stay up at night wondering if there is a God?

Quality comment. Hello post of the year nomination, and it's only the 2nd week of January.

mks2005 · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:35

James07 said:
Lmao, trying not to laugh at work is hard!

Ive just seen the other thread where some guy enlarged the word porn and splattede it on my screen and then someone quoted it, and now this.

Barely controlling my little outbursts of laughter!

Should really work instead of been on here shouldnt i..

I know the feeling.

[DOD]Asprilla · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:36

Mohinder said:
So it's like Roller Derby?

Yeah, but only Jonathan E makes it to the egg.

PardonTheWait · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:37

Roller Derby, not Rollerball!

Although it would be even cooler if it was like Rollerball.

PurpleDinosaur · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:37

andyp said:
Like traffic wardens?

No, like American Football blockers. They stop the running sperm from getting tackled before he reaches the goal line.

andyp · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:38

Nix said:
Most die along the way though.

I'm thinking this impregnating lark is a big waste of effort.

I want 25 million sperms in a fallopian-free-for-all fighting to the death for the privilege of smashing it's way into the egg and doing what it was born to do - not 98% of them wimping out along the way because they can't be bothered.

malfunkshun · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:38

Mohinder said:
That's because their high-class vaginas rejected your lowly sperm

Hnnnngh *splup*

Maybe!
but 'throwing a pound of sausages up the high street' comes to mind more readily

andyp · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:39

PurpleDinosaur said:
No, like American Football blockers. They stop the running sperm from getting tackled before he reaches the goal line.

Tackled by what exactly?

PardonTheWait · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:40

andyp said:
Tackled by what exactly?

The evil that seeps from the mimsy of every woman

Nix · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:40

andyp said:
Tackled by what exactly?

Gnomes, obviously. :rolleyes:

Admiral Huddy · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:41

Mine are quite partial to scrambled eggs.

PurpleDinosaur · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:41

andyp said:
Tackled by what exactly?

The anti-sperm activist cells. Duh.

[DOD]Asprilla · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:42

Admiral Huddy said:
Mine are quite partial to scrambled eggs.

Did you kick her in the ovaries?

Sic · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:43

Dj_Jestar said:
You get more than half going the wrong way.. infact something ridiculous like only 2% of your spooge will get anywhere near the egg.

think about your audience when using the word 'your'. I don't think there are too many ova around pubescent boys' chest and/or stomach hair

_PD_ · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:46

Imagine if it was the other way round - i.e. 15 million eggs came stampeding down your Johnson to seek out a lowly single sperm which had barracaded itself up in your testes.

PardonTheWait · 9 Jan 2008 at 12:46

Sic said:
think about your audience when using the word 'your'. I don't think there are too many ova around pubescent boys' chest and/or stomach hair

'Entire civilisations have flaked and crusted in the hair around my navel'