Sperm question...

does sperm reflect its owner like they say pets do so like if your obese and fat are your sperm obese and fat and get all sweaty and tired when trying to swim? and if your a spotty geek do your spotty geek sperms break out in a shivering cold sweat at the sight of the female?
 
dustiestrat said:
does sperm reflect its owner like they say pets do so like if your obese and fat are your sperm obese and fat and get all sweaty and tired when trying to swim? and if your a spotty geek do your spotty geek sperms break out in a shivering cold sweat at the sight of the female?
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Geek Sperm 1: "ooooh it's the egg, dare you to go and speak to it!"

Geek Sperm 2: "no, I'm too shy, you go."

Geek Sperm 3: "let's just go home and play World of Spermcraft..."
 
PurpleDinosaur said:
Geek Sperm 1: "ooooh it's the egg, dare you to go and speak to it!"

Geek Sperm 2: "no, I'm too shy, you go."

Geek Sperm 3: "let's just go home and play World of Spermcraft..."
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Chances are that if you're the spotty geek type, your spotty geek sperm is never like to have the chance of that conversation.
 
Dj_Jestar said:
How can it not have instinct? Christ, think about what you are saying. If sperm did not have instinct, just what the shuddering hell tells it to swim in the first place?
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Sperm are just very simple biological Citylink* vans with no drivers or delivery address, and a single package to deliver to any egg that comes within wriggle-reach. "Instinct" is meaningless in this context. You just start them up, aim them down the slip-road into the oncoming traffic, and hope one of the blighters blunders into an egg before running out of fuel, being raided by ***** defence cells, having a crash, or being flushed out onto next week's washing.

Of course it helps that the the seminal fluid protects them quite a bit, and if you're lucky the woman's traffic calming measures will improve the chances of getting to the right (cervical) neck of the woods. But ultimately your sperm is simply wandering around aimlessly until it gets very close to an egg. Then I suppose you could say its 'instincts' kick in in the same way that a virus's 'instincts' lead it towards a suitable host cell. But ultimately there's nothing particularly clever going on... not until delivery anyway. That's when the clever bit starts.

Or something like that anyway. I get most of my information from Horizon these days, and it's years since they bottled it and stopped reporting proper science. If they can't build a docu-drama around it, then it's no good for TV.

Andrew McP

*Other couriers are available, but hopefully you won't be using one which kicks your DNA around a bit in the van before delivery.

PS Remember that even if you pay for next day delivery, your package can be delivered up to 72 hours later if you're particularly unlucky.

PPS If anyone's genuinely interested...
http://www.drmalpani.com/book/chapter2d.html
"During the time the sperm spend in the female reproductive tract, while swimming towards the egg, they acquire the capacity to fertilize it - a process called capacitation. When the sperms reach the corona cells (only a few hundred successfully make the trip, guided by chemicals produced by the egg which serve as guiding beacons to the sperms) they become hyperactivated - they start beating their tails in a frenzy. This is useful because it provides the mechanical energy the sperm head needs to burrow its way through the outer shell of the egg called the zona.

The sperms disperse the cumulus oophorus (and so far it's a team effort ) and when they reach the egg, they first bind to the zona. A chemical is released here by the sperms in a process called the acrosomal reaction in which the acrosome (which sits like a cap on the head of the sperm and behaves much like a battering ram) is removed. The acrosomal enzymes dissolve the zona pellucida by making a tiny hole in it, so that one sperm can swim through and reach the surface of the egg. At this time, the egg transforms the zona to an impenetrable barrier, thus preventing other sperm from entering it."
 
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my teacher once asked us the following question

Why is the female egg so big?

to which my friend responded

So the sperm can see it. lmao, Just thought i would share that, he has never lived it down
 
What a Question!!!

fail-24.jpg
 
I like the term blockers - do you really think that the other sperm suddenly spark a comic text box above their head saying "OMG you BLOCKER!!" :D
 
Andrew_McP said:
"The acrosomal enzymes dissolve the zona pellucida by making a tiny hole in it, so that one sperm can swim through and reach the surface of the egg. At this time, the egg transforms the zona to an impenetrable barrier, thus preventing other sperm from entering it."
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Now I know.

I've always wondered why there's always just one that gets in - if there's a hole there why don't they all pile in. Must be annoying to have got all that way and your best mate locks you out.
 
_PD_ said:
Imagine if it was the other way round - i.e. 15 million eggs came stampeding down your Johnson to seek out a lowly single sperm which had barracaded itself up in your testes.
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yes I can just imagine a baby growing in my sack.

"I need leave boss cos Im preggers!"
"oh congrats mate"

7 months later Im walking down the corridors like john wayne with elephantitus on my privates.
 
stevenazari1 said:
yes I can just imagine a baby growing in my sack.

"I need leave boss cos Im preggers!"
"oh congrats mate"

7 months later Im walking down the corridors like john wayne with elephantitus on my privates.
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The thought of giving birth is making me wince. I watched my other half struggle to push our son out, I saw the blood and the sweat and the tears and the rest of it. Now I know the bit she pushed him out of is quite a size bigger than the bit we're on about here. Ow. Now that would be pain to moan about.
 
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