Sounds terrible.
I did however have an awesome idea for ordering food in a restaurant for the geeky/socially inept.
QR codes on the tables. Scan them with your smartphone/tablet, opens a web url with the menu, and passes the table number as a parameter. Select your items from the menu, choose your options (e.g. extras, how raw you want your steak, any allergies etc.), click "Order", and your order gets sent straight to the kitchen.
When it comes time to pay, don't worry about waiting for your bill and faffing around with change, simply put in your card details or log in via Paypal/insert other online payment method here.
This has advantages over traditional menus, in that you have a lot more "space" for information - you can show multiple images of each dish, list the ingredients (in case of allergies), have nutrition information etc.
Could help with upselling - choose a dish, and get a wine recommendation
Also means you don't have to worry about mixing up your words when the NotEspeciallyAttractiveButFirstFemaleYou'veSpokenToExceptYourMum waitress comes over to take your order.