Steps to buying first home
- Thread starter byeo
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I was always told thirds.
Third on your mortgage.
Third on bills/food/living.
Third on savings.
So you've never lived together?
I would advise on renting for a year or so before committing to buying a house. Being under each others feet living together will really test your boundaries, you don't really want to be doing that after buying a house and having not lived with each other. Even moreso having a baby in the mix.
Is your GF working? From your opening statement and other comments, it seems to suggest that the money + savings is only coming from you?
She works part time as she's a carer for her mum. It's not 24/7 care, mainly driving her to/from the hospital for dialysis a few times per week. But this isn't a problem, her mum has always stated she would never hold her back from living her life, plus her brothers can help their mum too (for a change).
Is she on a permanent contract for her PT hours? Is she also claiming an allowance for being a carer?
If it's fixed term / zero hours, then mortgage advisors tend to really dial down the income. My partner was on a zero hour contract when we applied for a mortgage, and i think they knocked her income down to something like 40% for the overall calculation.
I'd still really echo the part about living together before buying, even if one of you moves into the other parents house assuming they're ok with it.
First of all congrats! There's never a perfect time to have a baby but all the best of luck!
My partner came to live with me 6 months after we started dating. We always say that we should have done it sooner, because it was obvious we loved each other from so early on - and I'd happily advise anyone to do the same.
BUYING together before living together does seem a little crazy to me, BUT... my cousin proposed and bought a house together with his GF after 1 month of dating and not living together. Now they're happily married 10 years later with 2 kids... so what do I know!
If it's even remotely possible I'd be trying to get moved in together at either one of your parents to try things out. I'm not suggesting you stop moving forward with buying a house, but use the time to support her in her pregnancy and get to know how you live together.
Apart from that, my advice would be:
My partner came to live with me 6 months after we started dating. We always say that we should have done it sooner, because it was obvious we loved each other from so early on - and I'd happily advise anyone to do the same.
BUYING together before living together does seem a little crazy to me, BUT... my cousin proposed and bought a house together with his GF after 1 month of dating and not living together. Now they're happily married 10 years later with 2 kids... so what do I know!
If it's even remotely possible I'd be trying to get moved in together at either one of your parents to try things out. I'm not suggesting you stop moving forward with buying a house, but use the time to support her in her pregnancy and get to know how you live together.
Apart from that, my advice would be:
- Do an online assessment that gives you an online "mortgage in principal" to get even the roughest of idea of what sort of money you're talking about. The online versions are usually not binding in any way and require you to visit a branch or something afterwards but at least you know if you're talking £150k or £200k
- At the same time arrange a meeting with a mortgage broker that offer free consultations and get an official mortgage in principal
- Scout out a solicitor. Ask friends or parents of friends in the area for advice/recommendations
- Work out your monthly expenses as accurately as you can - get prices for phone line, broadband, council tax for the area, TV licence works out at £12 a month, car tax, car mot, car savings, holiday savings, what a baby costs??? etc etc etc
- Buy a house! yay!
She does have a permanent contract and I'm pretty sure she get's a carers allowance but I would have to double check that. Living with my parents is a back-up plan, although I've not asked yet (no-one knows about the baby until we make it official) I'm fairly certain my mum and dad would happily put us up on the basis we pay our way.
Fingers crossed I've recently applied for a new job which would mean a bump up in my wage of just over 5.5k before tax per year. It might not be a whole lot more in the grand scheme of things but on a crappy Home Office AO wage, it'll be significant.
Rent together first, even for 6 months. Relationships are different when you live together plus with a baby on the way your hitting the time that will stress you relationship in one of the most tough ways ever. Having children does not "bring a couple together" 
Don't rent top end, just good enough so you still have money to spare. If all is good in a year then look on to the first home but be aware that all you spend will be only half yours from the day the child is born and you will not keep the house if you split.
Oh... good luck!
Don't rent top end, just good enough so you still have money to spare. If all is good in a year then look on to the first home but be aware that all you spend will be only half yours from the day the child is born and you will not keep the house if you split.
Oh... good luck!
Living together at your parents will be a great relationship stress test, if you can both stay together through that then you should be fine in your own place 
(On the positive side you'll have live in babysitters / extra hands).
Problem with renting first is that you'll struggle to save money for buying, plus the cost of fee's and placing money in to a deposit rather than your ISA.
(On the positive side you'll have live in babysitters / extra hands).Problem with renting first is that you'll struggle to save money for buying, plus the cost of fee's and placing money in to a deposit rather than your ISA.
Living together at your parents will be a great relationship stress test, if you can both stay together through that then you should be fine in your own place
Problem with renting first is that you'll struggle to save money for buying, plus the cost of fee's and placing money in to a deposit rather than your ISA.
That's what is putting me off renting.
Caporegime
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i'd like to see actual numbers on that tbh. because bills (council tax, utilities, insurance, food and petrol/diesel) alone these days is sky high. and there is no way anyone is putting a 1/3rd into savings either. lucky if it's 5-10% more like nothing.
also where is the allowance for enjoying life?
The part where it says living. Also you can spend your savings.
Don't take it so seriously it's a 'rule of thumb'.
Caporegime
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I'd say it's completely off.
25% - mortgage
70% - bills and living
5% - savings
i don't see how anyone could afford to even have a car at 1/3rd for bills and living based on the average wage.
obviously the more you earn the more can go into savings as opposed to bills and living as you have so much more disposable. but i'm assuming the OP here is a normal person and not a high earner. especially since both him and his gf are living with parents.
Reality checks very much needed. Devils advocate in play here and some of these points may touch a nerve but have to be considered.
Living with your parents with a new born baby no matter how awesome they are will put so much extra pressure on you all. I would advise against it unless your parents have a granny annex and you can have your own space, comfortably.
Lets not forget as well that your girlfriend will be living in a house that isn't part of her side of the family and she will be there most of the time while on maternity. It never feels like your own space.
So the carers allowance would stop if she was no longer caring for her mum... can you really expect her to be doing a 50 mile each way trip with a new born baby each day or multiple times per week to continue this commitment, and if she did, the petrol alone would be crazy.
You also both sound young, how happy are your parents really going to be with the fact you have never lived together and you've fallen pregnant?? What happens if they basically wash their hands of you with you for being so irresponsible?
You also have to deal with the guilt factor of imparting the thrills and spills of a new born baby on your family. Sleepless nights are bad enough for new born parents but when you have the added guilt of causing sleepless nights for others in the house.
As others have said, renting is a lot easier to get out of if things don't work out and whilst you wont be able to save as quickly for your first house, you will be able to rent and save still.
The fact you haven't lived together, live 50 miles apart currently, she's pregnant (I hate to ask but are you even 100% sure its yours?), and both of you live at home with your parents currently all sound like very good reasons not to buy a house now.
What happens in 6 months time after moving in together you actually realise it isn't working?
Not to mention its a lot cheaper to get in to a rented property, and have your own space with much less hassle.
I am a staunch supporter of buying over renting but you have to many unknowns to factor in.
Save until you move in to rented, then continue to save at least £100 per month over the next 2 years in to the HtB isa and you will have an extra £3k saved.
Living with your parents with a new born baby no matter how awesome they are will put so much extra pressure on you all. I would advise against it unless your parents have a granny annex and you can have your own space, comfortably.
Lets not forget as well that your girlfriend will be living in a house that isn't part of her side of the family and she will be there most of the time while on maternity. It never feels like your own space.
So the carers allowance would stop if she was no longer caring for her mum... can you really expect her to be doing a 50 mile each way trip with a new born baby each day or multiple times per week to continue this commitment, and if she did, the petrol alone would be crazy.
You also both sound young, how happy are your parents really going to be with the fact you have never lived together and you've fallen pregnant?? What happens if they basically wash their hands of you with you for being so irresponsible?
If only it worked out that way! On the flip side you will have a live in "self proclaimed expert" getting involved in the raising of your new born baby and you are in the difficult position of not being able to tell them to P-off as you are living in their house so need to keep the peace.Living together at your parents will be a great relationship stress test, if you can both stay together through that then you should be fine in your own place
You also have to deal with the guilt factor of imparting the thrills and spills of a new born baby on your family. Sleepless nights are bad enough for new born parents but when you have the added guilt of causing sleepless nights for others in the house.
As others have said, renting is a lot easier to get out of if things don't work out and whilst you wont be able to save as quickly for your first house, you will be able to rent and save still.
The fact you haven't lived together, live 50 miles apart currently, she's pregnant (I hate to ask but are you even 100% sure its yours?), and both of you live at home with your parents currently all sound like very good reasons not to buy a house now.
What happens in 6 months time after moving in together you actually realise it isn't working?
Not to mention its a lot cheaper to get in to a rented property, and have your own space with much less hassle.
I am a staunch supporter of buying over renting but you have to many unknowns to factor in.
Save until you move in to rented, then continue to save at least £100 per month over the next 2 years in to the HtB isa and you will have an extra £3k saved.
Thanks for your response. To answer some of those questions.
- Living with parents is a last resort and they would be over the moon when we tell them, they would never wash their hands due to a new arrival.
- I totally get that it won't be her house and as much as she's loved by my parents, it's not her family, this is something we would really need to consider if we were to live at mine for a while.
- My girlfriend is a carer for her mum but she won't be caring for her anymore if/when she moves up here. Her mum has already said that she doesn't want to get in the way of her own life and if it got serious she's got three sons who would be living much closer than her daughter would be. They could take her to/from dialysis or she can revert back to the hospital picking her up/dropping her off three times per week.
- I'm 34 and she's 32 so not "so young", I don't really want to go into full details but back in 2012 I was due to get married and two months before the day she called it off and things got a bit messy for a few years, we never recovered and ended up separating. I ended up moving back home after losing a lot of money on a wedding and honeymoon. (not my current girlfriend)
- I am very sure it's mine, I have no reason to believe it's not, I trust her.
- What happens if we lived in rented accommodation for X amount of time, decided to then buy and found out it's not working for one reason or another.
Again, I thank you for mentioning some home truths and I've answered what I can in return. Anything and everything can happen in life, we can plan things to try and prevent them but they can still happen, for better or worse
Fair play for answering and not just losing your rag with some of my questions.
If you are intent on getting your own place then really look at the route that allows you to secure the biggest deposit before making a move. If living with your parents for a year helps you do this, then do that!
With what looks like 1 main income only and a part time income, your deposit will be an even more important factor, so the bigger the better.
The other advise given in this thread is all pretty reasonable.
One thing I did note is someone said Mortgage brokers don't charge a fee as they get paid by the lender, this is not correct. They do charge fees, although not extortionate so expect something between £300 - £500 if you use one. They are worth it as they help take the hassle out of things if you find the whole mortgage and dealing with applications stressful.
If you are intent on getting your own place then really look at the route that allows you to secure the biggest deposit before making a move. If living with your parents for a year helps you do this, then do that!
With what looks like 1 main income only and a part time income, your deposit will be an even more important factor, so the bigger the better.
The other advise given in this thread is all pretty reasonable.
One thing I did note is someone said Mortgage brokers don't charge a fee as they get paid by the lender, this is not correct. They do charge fees, although not extortionate so expect something between £300 - £500 if you use one. They are worth it as they help take the hassle out of things if you find the whole mortgage and dealing with applications stressful.
I'm trying my hardest to get a big deposit together and if everything goes to plan I can get 18k with 15k of that from my Lifetime ISA. I'm not banking on help from my grandfather and to be 100% honest I'll feel awful for asking but if he can help me then it's a bonus.
I've been looking at London & Country with their online tools but I might have to give them a call once I get a better idea of what I'm playing with.
Try habito?
I used them for my mortgage and they were free. Can refer you and we both get £100 if you go through.
http://share.habi.to/mvek4sY
I used them for my mortgage and they were free. Can refer you and we both get £100 if you go through.
http://share.habi.to/mvek4sY
Caporegime
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i know 18K people will say is fine on a 180K house (10%), ideally you want it to be as large as possible. save as much as you can. as it will hugely effect your interest rate therefore making the interest you pay a lot less. it can be as much as £100+ a month saving moving up 2 LTV brackets.
I’ll trust you if I go ahead, thanks.