Stupid ANSWERS tech support give you...

titchard

titchard

titchard

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Joined
10 Feb 2004
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Crewe, UK
Hey Guys!

Now, I know we have had the "stupid questions that people ask us" on tech support thread, but I wanted to see what stupid answers the techies have given us, after one laughable explanation I had this week.

I'll start:

Me: "The IBISEmail seems to be down, it either says connection error, or mostly it just times out - is there a problem with the email or is it just me?"
Techie: "Oh, what it is is that your clock on your computer isn't the same time as the clock on the email server, so that's what it means when it 'Times out' - check your clock!"
Me: *Phone Down*

Anyone else got a dumb techie response they would like to share?

Rich
 
I heard one story of a "techie" advising a customer who had no DSL light on the router that it was because the router "goes to sleep" :D

Made me laugh
 
I got "leave your pc on, open the case and unplug the cpu fan, it'll melt the solder connecting it to the cooler and stop the program from crashing"
I was shocked an appauled.
 
gumbald said:
Was he being serious? I have given a similar answer to someone before, but humouring them :)
Click to expand...

I know him as he works in the uni with me, when I first met him I would have thought he was humoring me, but after a year, I know he is just thick.

Rich
 
In our defence though.. We do have to put up with so many stupid questions that its our responsibility to give them a few intentionally stupid answers back!

I've had one of our clients phone up saying that their internet was running slowly. I asked him to check the ethernet cable running from his PC to the wall and make sure there were no kinks in it as this can slow down the data speed just like a kinked hose pipe..

He went off and checked, ironed out the kinks and then told me that it had actually improved things! :D
 
Some questions can't be answered because they are so technical. A Technician's humor is usually dry with the technicality of words. very funny but an end user would not have a clue what a technician is going on about.
 
I used to work at a company that did telephone support. One guy got sacked after he told somebody that their modem wasn't working because of sunspots and other various solar activity.
 
I once had to ring VM about latency issues, got the normal girl in india, and said that i was having lacany issues wiht my internet and she started on about ways to get my internet to work, she didn't have a clue what latency and pings were she thought that they were to do with the connection now working, and the i asked if she could put me through to someone that knew what the internet actually does and she was like no-one does....... *phone down*

Idiots i swear.\
 
Sonea Fifer said:
I heard one story of a "techie" advising a customer who had no DSL light on the router that it was because the router "goes to sleep" :D

Made me laugh
Click to expand...

Some routers do actually disconnect after a certain period of inactivity until you try to use the internet again, so not so stupid :p, US Robotics ones spring to mind.
 
When I worked for a well known office supplies place many years ago, one of my colleagues explained the (then brand new) concept of burn proof cd writers as being less likely to catch fire than non burn-proof ones to a customer. I know for a fact he knew what it really meant, he just didn't want to have to explain buffer overruns and the like to them.
 
"take the fuse in your phone box out leave it for 2 hours and put it back in, then check"

good ol' dsl support, needless to say i called him a useless douchebag and hung up. :o
 
titchard said:
Hey Guys!
Me: "The IBISEmail seems to be down, it either says connection error, or mostly it just times out - is there a problem with the email or is it just me?"
Techie: "Oh, what it is is that your clock on your computer isn't the same time as the clock on the email server, so that's what it means when it 'Times out' - check your clock!"
Me: *Phone Down*

Anyone else got a dumb techie response they would like to share?

Rich
Click to expand...

No ones that stupid. I think he might be taking the **** out of you mate ;)
 
Rang Virigin Media the other day to report I had no TV or Broadband.

"Can you confirm your modem is not plugged into a router"

"Yes"

"Are you sure Mr ******"

"Yes I'm sat in front of it"

"Can you double check"

"I'm looking at it and the Ethernet cable from the modem is plugged directly in to my NIC"

"So the cable from your modem is going into your computer"

"Yes thats right"

"I see, please wait"

.....


ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Davem
 
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