Stupid reason to break up?

support_bae · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:01

My girlfriend was going out with her ex for 2 years before we got together. We are now together for nearly 6 months.

We get on great and we never argue except for one thing. Whenever my girlfriend has problems/feels sad/stress she talks to me about it but she always talks to her ex about this. I get upset at this as she could talk to her other friends instead.

Her reason for this is her ex knows her better than me and may be able to help her more in some situations.
I don't feel comfortable with this and have decided to end the relationship.

Do you think this is a stupid reason to break up over?
What would you do in my situation?

LOAM · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:02

Have you told her how you feel ?

antijoke · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:03

I don't know if I would break up over this, but it wouldn't sit right with me.

I'd probably want a serious talk about it, then decide what to do after some further talks with her about it.

jaybrock · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:03

In the end, only you can know how much it bothers you and if it does bother you that much then I guess it's not a bad reason to break up.

Do you have a reason to be upset about the situation? Are they really just friends or is there more?

A2Z · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:03

I don't think its stupid no.

Personally I don't think its right for someone to still stay good friends with their ex while they have a new BF/GF. There really is no reason for it, you should be her best friend as well as her BF. Off course out of the relationship everyone has other good friends etc, but for them to be an ex is just....not right.

Gav · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:04

1/ Yes

2/ Wait until your old enough to have a proper relationship

Brookert · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:05

Long answer: Does she not realise how undermining it is being compared to an ex? Is she stupid or what? Your deserve better than that, someone who appreciates you.

Short answer: Get rid

FabienO · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:06

Well you could look at it this way, if she wouldn't stop doing it for you, then she's made the bad choice. I don't think it's irrational to not want your gf confiding in her ex.

It's weird, and if it makes you uncomfortable, she should have the decency to stop (as long as you openly talk to her about it).

Failing that you could always try talking to your ex.

Ahleckz · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:06

Yes.

However, she should end it. You clearly don't trust her.

And:

Ahleckz said:
Talking through your issues with your partner seems to be a very underused tool by people on this forum.

KNiVES · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:08

This happened to me with my last one, it gnawed away at my soul so much it got unbearable in the end. It's just not worth it, even if they are 'just' on speaking terms. It's a lack of confidence in you not as the other half but as a person too.

Participant · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:09

LOAM said:
Have you told her how you feel ?

Sounds like it :confused:

:

support_bae said:
Her reason for this is her ex knows her better than me and may be able to help her more in some situations.

Anyway OP, I would definitely break up with someone over this unless I absolutely besotted with them. I'd not take too kindly to my gf going to her ex before she came to me. Though she's probably perfectly right to say that he knows her better than you do, so does her mum and her best mate so she should go to them instead.

Jay1701 · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:11

DON'T END IT! Its very difficult to find the women these days. How are you going to get the cooking and cleaning done?

Vince · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:11

A2Z said:
I don't think its stupid no.

Personally I don't think its right for someone to still stay good friends with their ex while they have a new BF/GF. There really is no reason for it, you should be her best friend as well as her BF. Off course out of the relationship everyone has other good friends etc, but for them to be an ex is just....not right.

I don't get this, its perfectly possible to be friends with an ex. I'm friends with many of my ex's, speak to them now and again on the phone and even pop over for a tea/coffee if I am in the area. My other half trusts me 100% and has never had a problem with it. If it was the other way around I would be the same.

Participant · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:21

Vince, friends is one thing, but if your GF chose to confide in her ex before you, would you not feel the tiniest bit rejected?

AberystwythLAD · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:21

support_bae said:
My girlfriend was going out with her ex for 2 years before we got together. We are now together for nearly 6 months.

We get on great and we never argue except for one thing. Whenever my girlfriend has problems/feels sad/stress she talks to me about it but she always talks to her ex about this. I get upset at this as she could talk to her other friends instead.

Her reason for this is her ex knows her better than me and may be able to help her more in some situations.
I don't feel comfortable with this and have decided to end the relationship.

Do you think this is a stupid reason to break up over?
What would you do in my situation?

This woman seems really immature. Even as a 20 year old now, I wouldn't put up with this. I would tell her to sling her hook and start looking for a real woman who knows how I roll. :cool:

unwashed potato! · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:28

why don't you tell her to get rid of the ex and direct her to this forum whenever she is stuck so we can offer her loads of help that is really spot on and then she can completely ignore us as well?

tbh it sounds like she thinks someone else is better for her. she doesn't think you get her and will one day get rid of you if you dno't do it first. that's how i see it any way. this may not be her fault though, i know plenty guys that just don't get their gf and are terrible at giving the right/needed advice.

in all honesty do you think there is a possibility you are the rebound guy?

Vince · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:33

Robbie G said:
Vince, friends is one thing, but if your GF chose to confide in her ex before you, would you not feel the tiniest bit rejected?

Depends on the woman and her intentions to be honest mate. Some women (as well as some men) are quite simply too stupid to realise what they are doing and therefore require extra space for manoeuvre.... This could well be one of those cases.

At the end of the day its a conversation over the phone, not waking up in the same bed as them. Perhaps I'm just to relaxed about these things.

clv101 · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:35

support_bae said:
I don't feel comfortable with this and have decided to end the relationship.

Do you think this is a stupid reason to break up over?

Yes. She's with you, not him. That doesn't stop the ex being a good friend though. :rolleyes:

clv101 · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:38

A2Z said:
Personally I don't think its right for someone to still stay good friends with their ex while they have a new BF/GF. There really is no reason for it...

Don't agree with this at all! Just because someone is your ex doesn't change who they are - someone you really liked. Sure sometimes relationships blow up in a bad way, and neither parties want to see each other again, but when relationships end amicably, staying good friends makes perfect sense.

[TW]Fox · 5 Dec 2011 at 17:39

Personally I find the notion that people cannot and should not be friends with ex's a bit odd really. She clearly liked the guy for several years - they decided they were not right together so ended it but why shouldnt he remain a friend? You dont have to sever all ties with somebody when you move on, you should have enough trust in her to not be worried about this.

Stupid reason to break up?

Gangster