google are pretty good, should try them.
They all use the DMOZ database releases anyway, so if you submitted to google and DMOZ then your job is done.
Nope, you just get listed or you don't.
And in my experience they are extremely strict (to the point of bing anal) so if your site isn't perfect when it gets reviewed then it will be another 6 months before it will be reconsidered.
I'm not a fan of DMOZ myself. I personally believe they are a bunch of elitist losers who have way more power over the net than they deserve. But meh... As website creators we are their bitches.
I'd contact my host and ask them what was going on. But I guess it may be worth posting the contents of the htaccess file here and maybe someone will be able to help with that.