Thank you! Very clear post. Think I'm leaning towards the dark rock pro 4 or assassin 3 for my next build (probably 10700K, as I don't think the 5800X will deliver performance worth a £70 premium). By replacing thermal paste, do you mean that some coolers come with thermal paste already, but it's better to buy your own superior stuff?
Be careful of side panel case clearance if you are raising the front cpu fan for ram clearance on the bigger coolers. Some of them are already close to the side panel with the fan at default position. Worth checking case and cooler spec as well as ram height.