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Sunday Joke

Plus-44 said:
I go out for a few hours come back to find out my lifes been ruined :D

+44
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Not quite yet ;)

What happened when the elephant tried to get inside a tumble dryer?

It died!


Where does Leonardo di Caprio go for his holidays?

The Beach!


What sort of hamburgers do policemen eat?

Big Cells (Big Macs)!
 
Just to raise the tone a little:

Two nuns driving down the road when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet of the car.
"Quick" says one "show him your cross"
The other winds down the window and shouts "Oy, you, get the *** off my car and **** off home you ****!"
 
Treefrog said:
Just to raise the tone a little:

Two nuns driving down the road when a vampire jumps onto the bonnet of the car.
"Quick" says one "show him your cross"
The other winds down the window and shouts "Oy, you, get the *** off my car and **** off home you ****!"
Click to expand...

:D I'd forogtten about that 1

Two nuns riding a tandom, one says to the other "I haven't come this way before" the other replies "It must be the cobble stones dear"
 
Ricky Gervais tells the first joke better. Scary thing about it though, is people actually do take measures such as that when dealing with applicants and/or CV's in reality.
 
What do you call a man with a cast-iron throat, that's covered in moss?

Thorax Steel!


What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cotton bud?

Leapin' buds!


How many leapin' buds does it take to change a lightbulb?

N-n-n-nineteen!
 
I actually laughed at the elephant jokes because they were so stupid. :p
Didn't like the first joke and as I'm writing my CV it's not very comforting. :( :p
 
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