Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 5,415
Sunday night Joke
- Thread starter Jon Frost
- Start date
Associate
- Joined
- 7 May 2007
- Posts
- 484
Ha ha. Still, the kudos. 105 posts per day for 4 years. Has to be red Bull.
Or speed.
he bought them in a charity auction iirc
EDIT: DAMN YOU!!!!
Nope, not a charity auction. His postcount is the entire of West Sussex in conglomeration using that single account.
That's why there's nobody else except me and Richdog from West Sussex on here
Sam has been a stock broker for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 10 acres of land in Vermont as far from humanity as possible.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded and burly Vermonter standing there.
"Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from two miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday at 7... Thought you'd like to come."
"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... After 25 years on Wall Street, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Damn," Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."
After six months or so of almost total isolation, he's finishing dinner when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded and burly Vermonter standing there.
"Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from two miles over the ridge... Having a party Saturday at 7... Thought you'd like to come."
"Great," says Sam, "after six months of this I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Enoch is leaving he stops, "Gotta warn you there's gonna be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem... After 25 years on Wall Street, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, as he starts to leave Enoch stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Damn," Sam thinks... "Tough crowd." "Well, I get along with people. I'll be there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turns from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" says Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six months! I'll definitely be there... By the way, what should I wear?"
Enoch stops in the door again and says, "Whatever you want, just gonna be the two of us."
Soldato
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2007
- Posts
- 9,299
- Location
- extremes.spacious.indelible
One day God calls down to Noah and says,
"Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want.
After all, you're the guv" .. But God interrupts,
"Ah, but there's a catch."
This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks, one
on top of the other". "20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man,
whatever you say.
Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill
it up with fish",
God answers. "Fish?", queries Noah "Yep, fish . . well, to make it more
specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling-Carp!
" Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right,
you want a New Ark?" "Check". "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check". "And you want it full of Carp?". "Check". "Why?" asks the
perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether..........................
"Dunno", says God,
"I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"
"Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being. Anything you want.
After all, you're the guv" .. But God interrupts,
"Ah, but there's a catch."
This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, . . I want 20 decks, one
on top of the other". "20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man,
whatever you say.
Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well . . sort of right . . this time I want you to fill
it up with fish",
God answers. "Fish?", queries Noah "Yep, fish . . well, to make it more
specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling-Carp!
" Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right,
you want a New Ark?" "Check". "With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"Check". "And you want it full of Carp?". "Check". "Why?" asks the
perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether..........................
"Dunno", says God,
"I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"
FAIL.