Tech / helpdesk comedy thread

I fooled myself the other day after a brain fart and forgetting where Scotland was on the map....I work in OS based GIS mapping and software engineering!

Damn.


But that is nothing compared to the support calls I have taken in the past and the number of times people have shouted and cried :p

Good times......
 
peterattheboro said:
Haven't really got any funny stories myself apart from people who think their printer is broke but don't check to see if there's paper in the tray! /facepalm
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I hate them. We don't have SNMP enable in our queues, so it doesn't give a status to the users. They send a print job, it sits queued for 1/2 hour, they call the help desk and tell them that NOBODY can print, they escalate to us (the server team), we log into the printer itself where it says "LOAD TRAY 1 LETTER".

'Tards.
 
Going back many years (around about when MMX was first being introduced) I worked in inbound sales, and was called back by a customer (customers services dept - what's that?) moaning that he'd ordered a graphics card (can't remember the make, but something like a cheap £30 Trident), and had received the wrong item. He demanded it be replaced immediately. I arranged a replacement straight away, and took back the £200 Matrox Millenium that he had been sent in error.

Was witness to a phone conversation that involved a customer phoning up to query the printers that we had with a t-shirt printing kit (basically it created an iron on transfer). Oh yes - she wanted to know how the shirt went into the printer, and what size shirt it would take.

The one that takes the biscuit (and again, I was there when the call was received) was the guy who ordered a HD and received a snooker table. And yes - he signed for the delivery. Never found out how that happened, though a lot of the good sold were shipped directly from the suppliers.
 
Runaway mine train is awesome!

Used to work for t-mobile on customer services and got quite a few good ones, cant remember much many of them now,though one sticks in my head when a guy phoned up and tried to get access to a females account by putting on a high pitched voice as he pretended to be her when I asked to speak to the account holder.
 
Sometimes I feel like IT Helpdesk when actually I work in a different dept :/ recent enquiries:

1) Outlook
'How do you add an appointment to Outlook for 3.45pm? It only gives you the option of 00 and 30.''
Me: 'You just type it in?'
Manager: 'But don't you have to select it?'
Me: (I don't even answer)

2) Adding a Printer
Colleague: Can you print to A3 in your office?
Me: Yes but I'm flat out at the moment, why don't you just add my printer and print it from yours?
Colleague: But X said that you would do it for me...
Me: Just call IT :p

3) Word
Director: Hi, I'm having trouble getting a picture into Word.
Me: OK I'll come round, I hate Word sometimes it has a mind of its own...lol! (thinking he had inserted it behind a text box etc..)
Director: So here's the picture (opens in picture viewer) and it won't drag into Word....
Me: /facepalm

BB x
 
Ewanb75;14840593"[COLOR="Red" said:
IMPORTANT INFORMATION: IT Service Desk Telephone System Unavailable[/COLOR]

We are currently experiencing a problem with the IT Service Desk telephone system and **** *** ***** is unobtainable.

For any urgent support issues please email the IT Service Desk (it.servicedesk@***********) and a support engineer will call you back."
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Makes perfect sense to me. The software running their ACD is down, however, their telephone lines are working so they will call you back if you email them. They could give out actual telphone numbers for you to call them on but that would be a very very bad idea :p
 
kiteloopy said:
just started a IT helpdesk role for a bank, ive got all this to come. :D
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I used to do that, and I once had a guy call up to inform me that he's flooded the server room. I genuinely didn't know how to respond to that and just gave the call to my supervisor.
 
I was doing an IT course not that long ago and we were doing DOS commands.
We were using the command to change the keyboard language.

One of the guys got really stuck and the conversation went like this :

Kev "John John this isnt working for me.
John "Thats because you are spelling Keyboard with a V Kevin.

All of us on the course were in stitches. I kinda felt sorry for the guy by the end of the course. Really suprised he passed it TBH
 
Yesterday we had 2 seperate occasions where people came in and asked if we had bin bags...
It could be that our department is just in the wrong, but I wasn't sure that bin bags were an IT related item?
 
Emlyn_Dewar said:
Yesterday we had 2 seperate occasions where people came in and asked if we had bin bags...
It could be that our department is just in the wrong, but I wasn't sure that bin bags were an IT related item?
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Didnt you know? being an IT person or techie means you know EVERYTHING.

Im supposed to know how to fix photocopiers, microwaves, kettles... in fact anything even remotely connected with electricity! ( and also plumbling, cars... building work.... etc etc )

"but you fix computers dont you?!!?" is the usual answer when i say i dont know how to fix so and so.... as if knowing how to troubleshoot and fix a pc somehow opens the door to the knowledge of the entire universe? :eek:

Im still a bit baffled as to why this misconception is so common.

I do admit ill often have a go at fixing most things, and a lot of the time i can get them working again by simple logical deduction and common sense. Maybe thats something everyone else who asks me to fix things is lacking?
 
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I used to work for a helpdesk with server support. Got a call from a company in London stating their server wasn't working, it was a modelling agency (Halpern), none the less, I run through what the problem was and found the issue straight away...

"we have had a power cut".. Ah, I thought to my self, simples...

"I took out the 'rack' like things to find the on button, but couldn't find it, then I put in a windows XP recovery disk when I replaced everything and ran it"

"right... where did this recovery disk come from"

"someone brought it in with them this morning to help"

"right, what stage is it at? (please god, dont say it has run)"

"well, it wasnt a recovery disk, turns out it was a whole new xp disk! (she sounded excited), so i have ran it and it is currently 'formatting' (she sounded confused)"

"ah, bugger.... Ummmm, we will send an engineer"

Modelling agencies hiring models to be IT staff is not fun. none the less, it was a scrap who went to fix it! Fine ladies all over the place :D

ags
 
AtreuS said:
Didnt you know? being an IT person or techie means you know EVERYTHING.


"but you fix computers dont you?!!?" is the usual answer when i say i dont know how to fix so and so.... as if knowing how to troubleshoot and fix a pc somehow opens the door to the knowledge of the entire universe? :eek:

Im still a bit baffled as to why this misconception is so common.
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Remember, any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic.

PC = magic
PC repair knowledge = magician
Magician = Mysterious knowledge of all the universe.

One guy on my team got a phone call once for a broken toilet...
 
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I received an e-mail from a branch of a store I used work for, telling me that their e-mail was down.

Oh, and i was once called out to a lady who claimed her laptop CD-drive was constantly ejecting whenever she tried to close it. I found out that she would push it closed with her finger on the button, so it would close, the promptly eject again! Took me a good 5 minutes to explain to her to close it avoiding the eject button...
 
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AtreuS said:
Didnt you know? being an IT person or techie means you know EVERYTHING.

Im supposed to know how to fix photocopiers, microwaves, kettles... in fact anything even remotely connected with electricity! ( and also plumbling, cars... building work.... etc etc )
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A friend of mine works in first line, I asked him how it was going a while back and he replies:
"Oh it's alright, I've become an AWAP technician"
crap I thought, theres some new, cuttng edge thing called AWAP I've heard nothing about.
"AWAP?" I asked
"Yeah Anything With A Plug, I dont know who keeps changing the clock on the microwave but its getting annoying now"
 
Best one I have come across so far is a call for an engineer to go out to a store and check/replace an AP as its not working anymore out the back. A call was logged to an engineer to go out and look at it. a few days later we received a photo of this 'AP' when we looked at the photo we saw a TV arial in a green house, not a small TV arial either the thing was a good few foot long and easialy looked like a TV arial
 
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