Yea just set Windows Display Properties to 60/100/120HZ depending on what is required for your display.Yeah, mine moves to the monitor that has focus. So if I Alt+Tab out of a game and go to the other monitor, the overlay moves too.
Is it possible to achieve item 1 automatically? E.g. when you're at the desktop, the monitor refresh rate switches to 60Hz, when you fire up a game, it jumps up to 144Hz (or whatever your refresh rate is).
Most games should apply the max refresh rate automatically, but some you may have to change it once in game then it should be saved.