The dreaded ex......

Aloreth

Aloreth

Aloreth

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16 Aug 2005
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Hmmmm see what you guys think…..

Been seeing a girl for a couple of months, all has been well and a couple of times when drunk shes told me that she loves me….a little early perhaps but all well and good! Her Ex has been bothering her for months (they were together for five years) and she just gives the phone to me now as he doesn’t seem to take ‘No’ for an answer.

Tuesday before last (before Christmas) he told her he has decided to start telling her that he is going to Kill himself! She has no intention of going back to him but all of a sudden doesn’t want to see me?!?! Sent me a text about a week ago saying that she really likes me but that her head is a little screwed up at the moment, haven’t heard from her since. Got a message on facebook from her best friend saying that she needs space and time and that she will come to me when ready……not sure what to do really! Previously was going to spend New Years with her but not now…….

Ideas suggestions? Sounds like **** to me but im a bit cynical :/
 
Damonic said:
Its her business you have been told to wait and she needs some space.

Give her the space she needs.

Besides why would you want to get involved with drama such as her past relationships? Friend or not thats just none of your business really.

Sorry I don't mean to be as harsh as this sounds but I feel so many people feel like they can have a say over an ex of a friend over someone who "might" fancy you but wants space.
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Im not trying to get involved, just kinda feel like I have eben dropped like a sack of ****. I like her and I dont know whats going on!?! We were going out for a few monthes, seems a bit much to just drop it overnight?

Feeling a bit rubbish tbh :/
 
Dont get me wrong, I am going out!

I would just personally find it hard to go from 'I love you' to just no contact in all of a week?!?!

Bah I was really looking to this New Years as well!
 
The friend that sent me the message is male.......doesnt bode well!

Ended up speaking to my mate over lunch who went for the **** her approach, kinda jarred me back to my senses! Dont think im going to bother finishing things with her, she didnt after all! Time to find my 'Im going to **** you shirt' which has not to date failed and go out for some revenge rumpy!
 
Hey thanks all for the advice, Jamie in particular - everything youve said just makes sense!

Im not sure I can be arsed with texting/calling her at all - considering I aint heard a peep out of her for 10 days then I think its safe to assume she couldnt be bothered with being square with me!

Tis a shame really as we got on really well! I think thats the big ego hurter aint it - would love to know why!

Oh well!
 
Still feel a bit ****! But I very much like the use of the word doormat - rather apt. Im a big guy and generally confident, dont like the idea of people wiping their feet on me!

Still want to send her a goodbye message or something rather than just leave it in limbo! Almost seems like I like her more if I just leave it!

What would you do? message saying goodbye or not?

edit - well not goodbye as it sounds a little formal but you get what I mean.
 
Hey so I might have been a little weak and sent a message - at least I got a nice clear **** off replacing the 'she really likes you' messages her friends have been sending!
I dont know why I bother being a nice guy, when im a complete git to women it works much much better!

Hey ***,

Just figured I would wish you a happy New Year!

Erm….don’t really know what happened between us – you just kinda freaked out and disappeared – shame really! Hope you get whatever it is sorted out

Cya

****
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Happy New Year to you too! Sorry for freaking out, just had a lot going on lately. Hope you had a great Christmas and enjoyed the New Year celebrations. I'm still feeling a bit hungover - not good.

Anwyay, take care, see ya soon x
 
Random_23 said:
If you dont text asking her why you will always wonder why!?
the EXACT same thing happened to me but I was with her for 3years and then a text saying she dont wanna see me anymore. I've still not found out in 2years and although I've moved on and have a better GF I would still LOVE to know why...

Text asking her, if you dont you will regret it!
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To an extent I think thats why this knocked me for six - she went from saying that she loves me to just ignoring me in about 12 seconds flat!
I dont think I can be arsed.....plus I deleted her phone number and removed her as a friend on facebook so I have no way of contacting her!

Sod it, im feeling much better than I was when I created this thread, time to find someone nice!
 
Hey I dont think there is anything wrong with threads like this (the fact that this is mine has nothing to do with it). The token anonymity on online forums lets people vent their feelings and get some advice - often really useful!

its that same anonymity that means most forums are full of flame wars and trolling - the fact that there forums is the reason that I visit!
 
I dont really think you can grow to love someone in a few months!?! Sure you can be obsessed with them, want to spend all your time together etc but love? No sir -e- bob!

Love takes a long time to build imhoQ! People tend to say it far too early in a relationship, my best mates girlfriend was saying it for like 6 months before he said it back simply becauise he didnt love her! Takes more integreity to not say it....
 
nitefly: Thanks for the advice but I actually tend to agree more with the cynical posters! Obviosly im going to know the situation a little better as...well its happening to me!

Its been almost 2 weeks now with diddly sod out of her, she knew that I cared for her and that im happy to give her space but I think its downright out of order to simply not contact me or let me know whats going on! To do anything but just ditch her would without doubt leave me as a 'sucker'.
 
Hahah thanks Nick made me chuckle!

To be honest I think the round about way that she did it was the most annoying thing!

The great thing is that I got her an awesome Christmas present which I unwrapped myself last night! Score!
 
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