The end of WW2 with SQL

[Jonny69]

SQL statements just received from US office. Please run on JAPAN database:

DELETE FROM HIROSHIMA WHERE DATE='06/08/1945'
DELETE FROM NAGASAKI WHERE DATE='09/08/1945'

When complete please run this:

UPDATE JAPAN SET SURRENDER='Y', FLAG=WHITE WHERE TABLENAME='STATUS'

Ithankyouverymuch. I am bored at work.

 

[platypus]

([{What?}])

 

[Slinwagh]

FAIL

 

[NathanE]

INSERT INTO OcUKThreads VALUES ('What the ****?') WHERE ThreadId=17775562;

 

[platypus]

INSERT INTO OcUKThreads VALUES ('What the ****?') WHERE ThreadId=17775562;

Nathan beats Jonny

 

[Mr^B]

Bored at work and unable to write SQL, let alone turn it into something funny.

 

[Rossmac]

grant exec on NathanE to public

 

[Jonny69]

I should have put an IF statement before the DELETE FROM NAGASAKI WHERE DATE='09/08/1945' to check for surrender status. I must address my history knowledge. But would the Americans have really checked?

 

[Tom0]

I should have put an IF statement before the DELETE FROM NAGASAKI WHERE DATE='09/08/1945' to check for surrender status. I must address my history knowledge. But would the Americans have really checked?

going by the lack of "IF" used when warned about Pearl harbour, I would say you did the right thing leaving it out

 

[furnace]

Nathan beats Jonny

actually he failed... syntax error tbh...

 

[Jonny69]

going by the lack of "IF" used when warned about Pearl harbour, I would say you did the right thing leaving it out

Ah but I am system admin, I have access to run update statements on the SQL Update table. I'll just put a sly INSERT INTO statement in and no-one will ever know the Americans didn't check.

 

[gumbald]

Oh dear

I am defunct of thinking this morning, nevermind a witty SQL response...

 

[jamief]

INSERT INTO YourLife ([StoryOf])
VALUES ('EPIC FAIL')

 

[nikebee]

DELETE FROM OcUKThreads WHERE ThreadId=17775562



That really was pants dude...

 

[Haircut]

GRANT GodFather to Haircut;

DELETE FROM OcUKUsers WHERE UserName = 'Jonny69';

 

[6thElement]

You mean:

drop user 'Jonny69' cascade;
/

 

[fini]

This thread is the geekiest thing I've ever seen (though I don't go looking for geeky things [though I have seen some {more than 10}]).

 

[Jonny69]

I just tried to Citrix into the database in Iraq but I got some weird message back. I think they must use Oracle in the middle east.

 

[n3crius]

Gotta love 'World War with SQL' jokes. Always have me in stitches.

 

[Mat]

I cant code like the bigger boys... so I do it Fantasy Fighting Game Book style...

You cautiously enter the thread, your mouse moving steadily and with trepidation. As you read the first post your luck runs out (deduct 1 LUCK point) as you realise that it is too late to have not read it. You plough on regardless (deduct 2 STAMINA points) and read the rest of the thread, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up and a chill running down your spine. You are now forced to make a decision; if you add a post to the end of the thread and give your life blood to the monster, turn to 352, if you close the thread and start to weep, turn to 21, if you smash your head into the monitor, turn to 400.