The first chapter of your book - write it now
- Thread starter [FnG]magnolia
- Start date
Caporegime
- Joined
- 13 May 2003
- Posts
- 34,560
- Location
- Warwickshire
What on earth happened here? Maccy picked up someone's story then magnolia took exception to Maccy's contribution?
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 28,763
- Location
- Auckland
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 28,763
- Location
- Auckland
Other way round.
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 16,034
- Location
- The land of milk & beans
How about everyone brush the sand out of their vaginas and have a group hug?
Caporegime
- Joined
- 13 May 2003
- Posts
- 34,560
- Location
- Warwickshire
"So there I was, brushing sand out of vaginas..."
Soldato
- Joined
- 18 Oct 2002
- Posts
- 8,920
where can I order
UMAD? CHAPTER 1
As I sat down at a small table in a very quaint café I turned to my mother and said:
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see, I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low, any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.
Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, oooh, didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.
Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, oooh, I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all. I see a little silhouetto of a man, scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango!
Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening..."
Before I could finish and very flummoxed by my outburst she quickly jumped to her feet and slapped me, before walking off in a strop. People were all staring, it was embarrassing...
TO BE CONTINUED...
As I sat down at a small table in a very quaint café I turned to my mother and said:
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see, I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low, any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me.
Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, oooh, didn't mean to make you cry, if I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.
Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye, ev'rybody, I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, oooh, I don't want to die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all. I see a little silhouetto of a man, scaramouch, scaramouch, will you do the fandango!
Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening..."
Before I could finish and very flummoxed by my outburst she quickly jumped to her feet and slapped me, before walking off in a strop. People were all staring, it was embarrassing...
TO BE CONTINUED...
It would seem that way. I spent a good 15-20 mins adding some contribution to what could've been a great thread only to be shot down by OP.
Agreed.
[FnG]magnolia;20305966 said:
You don't want to argue/debate but would like to? What?
- Joined
- 29 Aug 2007
- Posts
- 28,763
- Location
- Auckland
You deleted a post it took me probably 20 minutes to compose. You added nothing unless I missed something. Happy to be corrected
No, I've been unclear. I would very much like to debate it but I'm not sure who to speak to (except for other dons/mods) if you go ahead with your threat of banning me.
Soldato
- Joined
- 11 Sep 2009
- Posts
- 14,064
- Location
- France, Alsace
Haha I like that start...
Corrected.
Nope. It's full of Fail.
Ok, to pull this back on track. This is only very quick and rough so forgive any grammar, spelling or it just being a bit carp....here goes:
The oppressive heat bore down on his prone body, the sand kicking up like tiny whirlwinds threatening to steal away his focus, sweat beading on his painted brow as tiny rivulets ran down his cheek reminiscent of the tears he had wept only hours before. The gunmetal grey sky mirroring his weapon as he thumbed the safety, the heat of the day at odds with the cool aluminium body of his rifle....the faint click of the scope as he adjusts the elevation and windage, the faint illumination of the reticle at odds with the overcast ash grey landscape.
Movement! Far off, beyond the sandy hard packed plain. Dust being kicked up as The Target flees across the landscape, oblivious to the baleful eye resting on his soul. He recalls his face as the scope details each crease in the Targets worn, leathery features. The sandy dervishes threaten to obscure the tell tale sign of the Target as he readies his shot, his heart beats slower, the dripping sweat slows to a crawl as he feels his consciousness slide into the rifle, the sand seems frozen in some bizarre dance as he slowly squeezes the trigger, the sharp acrid smell of oil and metal familiar in the air. His finger squeezes as the rifle recoils into his shoulder, his breath releases as the rifle spits out its final retribution into the air on a trail of fire and the sharp short retort echoes in his ears as he watches the final moments of his enemy unfold.
Unaware of his impending fate hurtling towards him, the Target moves to meet his last breath. Too late! He hears the sharp crack, like thunder, as if God had just passed his judgement. He turns and the Target faces his retribution, unaware he had been judged.....another man, lost and alone as the breath leaves his body for the last time.
His focus gone, the pain returns threatening to crush him into the hard packed ground on which he lies. He weeps for the friend he lost, and the life he has taken. One life to repay the debt of another, yet the thought remains as he moves out; tomorrow another man has to die.......
The oppressive heat bore down on his prone body, the sand kicking up like tiny whirlwinds threatening to steal away his focus, sweat beading on his painted brow as tiny rivulets ran down his cheek reminiscent of the tears he had wept only hours before. The gunmetal grey sky mirroring his weapon as he thumbed the safety, the heat of the day at odds with the cool aluminium body of his rifle....the faint click of the scope as he adjusts the elevation and windage, the faint illumination of the reticle at odds with the overcast ash grey landscape.
Movement! Far off, beyond the sandy hard packed plain. Dust being kicked up as The Target flees across the landscape, oblivious to the baleful eye resting on his soul. He recalls his face as the scope details each crease in the Targets worn, leathery features. The sandy dervishes threaten to obscure the tell tale sign of the Target as he readies his shot, his heart beats slower, the dripping sweat slows to a crawl as he feels his consciousness slide into the rifle, the sand seems frozen in some bizarre dance as he slowly squeezes the trigger, the sharp acrid smell of oil and metal familiar in the air. His finger squeezes as the rifle recoils into his shoulder, his breath releases as the rifle spits out its final retribution into the air on a trail of fire and the sharp short retort echoes in his ears as he watches the final moments of his enemy unfold.
Unaware of his impending fate hurtling towards him, the Target moves to meet his last breath. Too late! He hears the sharp crack, like thunder, as if God had just passed his judgement. He turns and the Target faces his retribution, unaware he had been judged.....another man, lost and alone as the breath leaves his body for the last time.
His focus gone, the pain returns threatening to crush him into the hard packed ground on which he lies. He weeps for the friend he lost, and the life he has taken. One life to repay the debt of another, yet the thought remains as he moves out; tomorrow another man has to die.......
Last edited: