The Mediocre Wednesday Joke Thread

[Sonea Fifer]

Subject: Hypnotism at the Senior Center


It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.

Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you all into a trance - I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.'

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. The polished metal gleamed in the light. Claude the hypnotist said: 'I want you each to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.'

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, 'Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch . . '

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light shimmering off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

'Crap!' said the Hypnotist without thinking




It took 3 days to clean up the Senior Center!


Shall i get my coat?

 

[Tefal]

lol took a second....

 

[Raikiri]

At least he didn't say **** (erm, I am sure you can guess what I mean).

 

[Hamster]

 

[gillywibble]

'Crap!' said the Hypnotist without thinking

He was right though.

 

[schumi84]

I would say that was pretty good Sonea raised a smile here.

You're definitely on form after some of the pics posted in the cats are funny thread.

 

[Mansize_tissue]

I believe, in this sort of scenario, the coat-getting won't be required. Not bad!

 

[GeForce]

Haha I lol'd

 

[alexakasloth]

lol!

 

[Begbie]

haha not bad Sonea! at work?

 

[Sonea Fifer]

haha not bad Sonea! at work?

Nope - only work Fri-Mon bud. Been through to Edinburgh today with the wife, had a lovely meal, few whisky's, few beers and now am entertaining you lot with jokes while the wife is downstairs on her laptop working on her uni assignment

Edit - am also playing Assasins Creed on my PS3

Are you on Global email at work Begbie? If so I'll drop you an email Fri.

 

[V4NT0M]

lol

Skyfall approves

 

[pc-modd]

lol, I didn't get it at first

 

[Megahurtz400]

Police now have a clearer picture of Mark Speights Death.
It was sent in by Sahrah, Aged 6.

 

[Vasquez]

Police now have a clearer picture of Mark Speights Death.
It was sent in by Sahrah, Aged 6.

ohh zing

lol

 

[Mansize_tissue]

Got a big chuckle out of me, Megahurtz400.

 

[PhillyDee]

Mr Green liked it!

 

[Biohazard]

Shall i get my coat?

 

[alexakasloth]

MH400, that was hilarious!

 

[tuffty747]

Shame to hear about the choirboy from 'Britian's got Talent' being bullied. But it's something many talent-show kids have to live with. I remember hearing about the time the school bully stole Michelle McManus' dinner money and bought a Ford Escort...