I wouldn't touch her with a ****ty stick
Isn't the starry bit either "pointy" or "poker", no need for stars, or have you got the wrong end of the stick with that saying and learnt it incorrectly.

I wouldn't touch her with a ****ty stick
As the 'apple in my eye' that is pretty simple. The 'apple' of your eye is the retina and just as your eyesight is precious and you protect your eyes and need them so much, the same way you love another person as if they were the apple of your eye (or you protect them as much).
Simples!
/snip mad rant about fruits and bodyparts/