An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are walking through the desert, lost. They haven't drank for two days and haven't eaten for five.
As they crest a dune, they spy a building about half a mile away. Summoning all of their energy, they crawl to the building; a sign hanging outside denotes it as a pub.
They come in through the door and the place is completely empty other than the barmaid; an elderly lady with a welcoming smile.
They tell the barmaid their story and she gives them water to rehydrate themselves.
Eventually, the Englishman pipes up: "Er...I don't suppose we could have a bite to eat? We haven't eaten in five days..."
The barmaid says "I can't be giving away food now but...I'll tell you what...I have never had an orgasm; take me upstairs now and if you succeed, I'll cook you all dinner.
Thinking he's onto a winner, the Englishman whisks her upstairs and, just before getting down to business, he notices a large scab covering the barmaids you-know-what.
Disgusted, he runs down the stairs and outside to get some fresh air.
The Scotsman decides to go upstairs to investigate...But shortly comes running downstairs and joins the Englishman.
This intrigues the Irishman who saunters upstairs, pulls the scab off and flings it out the window. After sating the barmaid, he strolls downstairs, out the door and says "Right, lads - what are ye wantin for dinner?"
The Englishman and the Scotsman reply in unison:
"Don't worry about us - someone just threw us a pizza!"
*n
PS: That is the first time I've told that joke in about 15 years :/
As they crest a dune, they spy a building about half a mile away. Summoning all of their energy, they crawl to the building; a sign hanging outside denotes it as a pub.
They come in through the door and the place is completely empty other than the barmaid; an elderly lady with a welcoming smile.
They tell the barmaid their story and she gives them water to rehydrate themselves.
Eventually, the Englishman pipes up: "Er...I don't suppose we could have a bite to eat? We haven't eaten in five days..."
The barmaid says "I can't be giving away food now but...I'll tell you what...I have never had an orgasm; take me upstairs now and if you succeed, I'll cook you all dinner.
Thinking he's onto a winner, the Englishman whisks her upstairs and, just before getting down to business, he notices a large scab covering the barmaids you-know-what.
Disgusted, he runs down the stairs and outside to get some fresh air.
The Scotsman decides to go upstairs to investigate...But shortly comes running downstairs and joins the Englishman.
This intrigues the Irishman who saunters upstairs, pulls the scab off and flings it out the window. After sating the barmaid, he strolls downstairs, out the door and says "Right, lads - what are ye wantin for dinner?"
The Englishman and the Scotsman reply in unison:
"Don't worry about us - someone just threw us a pizza!"
*n
PS: That is the first time I've told that joke in about 15 years :/