Time for a change - a big change

[GTanny]

My auntie was a nurse for the NHS and made her way up the ladder to a very decent level, she recently left the employment of the NHS but still works with them and is much happier for it, the NHS seems like a very stressful place to work with very long hours.

i havent talked too much in depth about the job but she is very glad to get out of the NHS.

if your very stressed try getting a few weeks off from the doctor to take a step back and view it with a clear head, 18 years is a long time anywhere and a break may be all thats needed. i did this at my previous employer after being there for just under 10 years and the decision was i needed to change my role and eventually get out.

also dont underestimate the stress that having kids will of made, without trying to downplay death, children are a much bigger life changer (to you anyway) then death is, if you want to change your job do it for your kids so you get more time with them, not a job with longer hours so you see them less to help other people - focus on your family not others!!

 

[Maximum Triceratops]

I am in a very similar position to you, I am a RM Manager (deliveries) it is tough, I have been with the company for a similar time (20+ years) and I share your pain, I presume you are in Distribution? trust me, deliveries is even more stressful. Privatization has taken it's toll to say the least.
I also have a good friend who made the same decision you are thinking of making and although he doesn't regret it, the NHS is under the same strain so I doubt the effort you would need to put in to make the change would pay off in the end.
Going the Postman route could be good for you (you can easily earn 30k a year with overtime) but be aware of the potential benefit/pay cuts that could come in the near future.

 

[DailyGeek]

I made a thread about this a little while ago. My wife spent a couple of years doing an access to healthcare course part-time at college, went to uni for three years and qualified as a midwife and went straight into a fourth year to qualify as a health visitor (which you have to be a qualified nurse or midwife to train as).

She didn't like several things about the hospital environment and the way that there is almost a class system between consultants and nurses/midwives etc. She is much happier doing the 9-5 (on paper) and working in the community. The thing is, she wanted to be a midwife for years and still has to maintain her registration by doing so many hours per year etc, but how she truly felt about the reality of the job within hospital only became clear whilst doing training hours on her course,

On the flipside, to support her through Uni, I got stuck into a rep job that I bloody hated and most recently started getting me really down. After three years of applying to and missing out on mortuary jobs, I quit my job in August and VERY luckily landed a trainee position as an Anatomical Pathology Technician ( three years of applying, pretty much my dream role and only around 15 posts come up each year, nationally.)

I'll be taking a chunky pay cut and driving 45 miles each way for entry level pay but I'll be working in a career that I have wanted to get into for several years and training on the job in something that will be absolutely fascinating. I start a week Monday and for the first time in my adult life (I'm 32) I'm actually excited about going to work, and to me, that means everything.

I'd do a bit more research, possibly even look at other more specialist roles that might be interesting, not just RGN, but ultimately, follow your heart.

 

[ste2005]

Have you looked into the course it self, When I did my DipHE in nursing before it became all degree based it was 50% class room based and 50% ward/ practical environment based. In other words we worked earlies, late's and weekends

 

[DailyGeek]

Have you looked into the course it self, When I did my DipHE in nursing before it became all degree based it was 50% class room based and 50% ward/ practical environment based. In other words we worked earlies, late's and weekends

If it's like Midwifery, it's basically the same. All the fun of a third year dissertation whilst working 12 hour shifts for no pay

 

[Paul2k12]

So thought I'd chip in here, I'm an Adult Nurse working in a major trauma centre hospital and I'm based in a Trauma/Neuro Intensive Care unit. I've been here for about a year and half and only qualified 6 months prior to that where I worked in a Medical Admissions Unit! I know what you mean about wanting to help others and that's fine however it's probably not as 'happy and appreciated' as you imagine.

It's the type of job that brings a new challenge on a daily basis, this can be both thrilling and totally depressing (especially in an area such as mine) I think it's best you try and visit the wards and ask to shadow the nursing staff if you can. When people are sick they are very different therefore it's not like dealing with people in any other job IMHO.

Just have a think about whether you can deal with angry, frustrated and aggressive patients and relatives - having to be there to be a shoulder to cry on when someone's partner has died, be competent in giving drugs that can cause serious harm if not given correctly, (if working in ITU) could you turn the ventilator off on a patient with the family present as that's the only option available. All these things can happen in a shift and for £11.37 per hour. I'm not trying to put you off but like has been said here really have a long hard think about what it entails as the university programme does not prepare you for the actual role.

Regards,

 

[subbytna]

Hey folks

I've come to a bit of a decision with life, and while I'll give you the background in a second, the purpose of this thread is really to make sure I'm not making a huge mistake. I don't think I have, and I've given myself enough breathing space to adjust my plans, but again - sometimes it's better to ask strangers rather than ask family, who may sugar coat an answer.

Anyway, I've worked for Royal Mail for nearly 18 years. I've climbed the ladder, and am now a manager, earning a pretty good salary (£34K) however, recently the job has soured somewhat. I'm now in a position where my work life is taking over my home life, with a lot of working from home, a lot of stress due to night shift work and just a general feeling that no matterwhat I do, it won't be enough.

Over the last 2 years, I've had this idea, spurred on by some life events that have revolved around the NHS and the amazing work they do daily - the death of my father, the death of my daughter and the death of a good friend.

Now that time has passed, I'm able to reflect on what happened, and while my friend's death seemed awful at the time, I was able to help him in the last 2 months of his life. He was diagnosed with Liver Cancer, and I was there to help him retain his dignity and support him through his worst days. I felt grateful to be there, and help a true friend stay "himself" for as long as he could.

About 18 months ago, Royal Mail were running a cost cutting program, and I put my hand up for VR - my intention was to then train as an Adult Nurse, completing the initial access course via OU, and then the 3 year degree via Stirling University. For whatever reason, I've always been plagued by self-doubt, but this decision felt right. It was something I knew I could do, and while I was first aid trained at work, I wanted to go to that point of being a nurse.

Unfortunately (?) I was kept on with RM, and due to the bills and family, I decided to just commit to RM. Probably a bit of fear, cold feet, whatever you want to call it - I just dismissed any change.

As I mentioned, the work commitment has increased with the change of job, and while I asked for additional training and support, none was provided. I have been referred for counselling due to work related stress, and while I haven't had any time off work, I know it's just a matter of time. After talking to my wife and family, I've come to the conclusion that my time at RM is coming to an end. So my plan is to:

Reduce my job status back to working in RM as a Postie - zero stress and more time
Complete the OU access course (starts Feb 2016)
Contact Stirling Uni to see if their offer is still available for placement
Walk away from RM after 2017 - no big payoff but so be it.

Biggest concern - if the above timeline is correct, I'll be a newly registered nurse at 39! A student with a mortgage! While my wife is going to increase her hours to cover the bills, it will be a huge drop in our disposable income.

I know it's something I want to do, but am I being unfair to everyone else, or even worse, selfish?

Regret is a horrible thing to live with, don't live with regret. You have one life, go do what you want to do with it. Do it!

 

[jpod]

I think that you need to think long and hard. As your attorney I recommend the following.

You have had a very stressful two years, I cannot imagine what that was like, sorrow, pain and sadness which would be unbearable is the best I can do.

To start with I suggest you write down what your roles are in life, starting with the role of husband and list all the others. Look at them and are you doing well in each of those roles?

You are the man in this relationship. You need to speak with your wife and communicate deeply, tell her what is on your mind, and listen to her too.

Reframe your perception of your current job within 2 weeks.

Learn the skills to see work as a challenge, an opportunity to practice patience, a game and figure out strategies to make it fun. Emulate colleagues who successfully field the BS. It is work, it pays, you get in your car and it ends.

Are you really saying you can't handle that?

If not change. But do you really need to spend several years unpaid? Simultaneously reducing the family income and increasing the workload for your wife. Are your reasons for doing so - good enough? Do they justify that.

Could you do paid work and scratch the itch of helping people unpaid in your spare time if you feel so inclined?

Starting nursing at this stage of the game, changing one set of BS problems for another set. What if you thought it sucked?

No one said life was going to be easy, chin up, and don't forget to smile.

Best wishes pod