To call or not to call...

Hades said:
If you can find it within yourself to make peace with him and let him know it, then it may also help him in his final hours.
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This would be the last thing I would care about in all honesty. If OP does it, it should be solely for his own benefit. I'm still against calling, I see why people would, but if it were me I'd not care.
 
Consider what might happen and weigh out your feelings. That's the toughest part about this quandary. You have to look for the answer as only you know.

Take what action you'll have no regrets for.
 
A pal of mine, was in a similar situation with his father, 40 years of only occasional contact and a total no show through his childhood. He went to see him when he was in his last couple of days and was very relieved to have done so. You're far more likely to regret not doing it than doing it in my view.
 
You'll never regret calling, you will regret not calling. Now is the time to make the call, say your final words and tell him you're thinking of him.
 
I wouldn't call if it happened to me, wasn't there growing up. Havent seen him for about 4-5 years. Its just a guy I would call dad if I saw him in the street. He did phone me last year out of the blue, but I wasn't interested. No malice or anything, its just a man that I rarely saw in my life, more like a someone you knew at school and if you saw in the street you would say hello.
 
Thanks for the feedback all, lots of things I hadn't taken into consideration which I should do. Some good insights here, really appreciated.

I'll call him tonight. If nothing else, my mother didn't raise me to be "that" person and by not calling, I'm pretty much doing what he did all those years. This is my chance to be the bigger person, to put the demons to rest which have haunted me for all those years.

I think this is what i need. I'm going to give it a shot anyway, at least I'll be eliminating the potential what-ifs.


Apologies for the drama thread, my head really is all over the place right now. Thanks for the comments :)
 
Diddums said:
Thanks for the feedback all, lots of things I hadn't taken into consideration which I should do. Some good insights here, really appreciated.

I'll call him tonight. If nothing else, my mother didn't raise me to be "that" person and by not calling, I'm pretty much doing what he did all those years. This is my chance to be the bigger person, to put the demons to rest which have haunted me for all those years.

I think this is what i need. I'm going to give it a shot anyway, at least I'll be eliminating the potential what-ifs.


Apologies for the drama thread, my head really is all over the place right now. Thanks for the comments :)
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If those are your goals then I don't see how you can lose by calling him, no matter what response you get.

Good luck
 
Good one on deciding to call him, Forgive him and tell him you still love him because after all he will no longer be on this world after so anything you can give him in his last days is more then he has given you and shows you care (even if he didn't care for you)
 
Cheers guys. I tried ringing him an hour ago and his girlfriend told me he was sleeping, I'll give it another go in the morning.

Feeling better about my decision already.
 
Tough call, I don't want to risk giving you advice or saying something trite, think deeply about the whole issue, about yourself, your father and your mom, I'm sure you'll sort it out in your head in sufficient time, my opinion your dad has behaved foolishly and it has been his loss watching sons grow is the best thing in the world.:(
 
Ask yourself this, will you look back and regret it when he's gone. Life is life, its not simple, people make mistakes every day. I have had it too good with my family, cannot contemplate what it must have been like. I would like to think I would be the 'better person' and say goodbye.
 
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