That's a rational position. Like all humans, the OP isn't entirely rational. The very fact that he would ask random strangers on a forum for opinions makes it clear that in some way the OP is emotionally involved and does care. Maybe about his father, maybe about some more abstract sense of what might have been, maybe for some reason he doesn't understand and couldn't explain...but he must care to some extent about something related to the situation. So calling makes sense for the OP for the sake of his own peace of mind, if only to rule out the possibility of later regretting not calling.
To call or not to call...
- Thread starter Diddums x
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That's a rational position. Like all humans, the OP isn't entirely rational. The very fact that he would ask random strangers on a forum for opinions makes it clear that in some way the OP is emotionally involved and does care. Maybe about his father, maybe about some more abstract sense of what might have been, maybe for some reason he doesn't understand and couldn't explain...but he must care to some extent about something related to the situation. So calling makes sense for the OP for the sake of his own peace of mind, if only to rule out the possibility of later regretting not calling.
This. Do what ever you want to do OP, because you're not obligated to him in anyway from the sounds of it.
Associate
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You've articulated why I'd have suggested calling better than I could have.
^^^this
if it does go badly then it is on him really, but realistically as he is someone a few days away from death, I think he'd likely appreciate the call
not calling him could turn into a huge regret for you and that whole question of 'what if' would perhaps continually bug you
so call him, he'll probably appreciate it and you'll get some closure either way
Soldato
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Good work diddums you did the right thing 
Anyone can draw back but it takes guts to reach out.
Anyone can draw back but it takes guts to reach out.
Well, given it a bit of time to sink in. Made myself a cracking brekkie and done a bit of housework whilst playing my favourite Dutch radio station (I am Dutch technically 
) and can genuinely say that I am, right now at least, content with how it panned out.
He sounded glad to hear from me, he said what was needed to be said and I think I got the closure I needed. It's still a fresh development, my opinion might change over time but as of right now, I'm feeling good about it.
It did bring a tear to my eye however, despite all the negativity, he did have a huge impact in my life. Not positively, but there are a few memories I will always cherish as the times I had a father and he was able to stay off the booze long enough to treat me like a son. There are of course loads of memories of disappointment and anger, but right now I'm letting those fall by the way side and savouring the moment.
Good call all those who said to call him, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, and once again apologies for the drama thread, but to all of you who said call him, you can genuinely say that you've affected someone's life in a positive way today
) and can genuinely say that I am, right now at least, content with how it panned out. He sounded glad to hear from me, he said what was needed to be said and I think I got the closure I needed. It's still a fresh development, my opinion might change over time but as of right now, I'm feeling good about it.
It did bring a tear to my eye however, despite all the negativity, he did have a huge impact in my life. Not positively, but there are a few memories I will always cherish as the times I had a father and he was able to stay off the booze long enough to treat me like a son. There are of course loads of memories of disappointment and anger, but right now I'm letting those fall by the way side and savouring the moment.
Good call all those who said to call him, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, and once again apologies for the drama thread, but to all of you who said call him, you can genuinely say that you've affected someone's life in a positive way today
Soldato
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Well, given it a bit of time to sink in. Made myself a cracking brekkie and done a bit of housework whilst playing my favourite Dutch radio station (I am Dutch technically
He sounded glad to hear from me, he said what was needed to be said and I think I got the closure I needed. It's still a fresh development, my opinion might change over time but as of right now, I'm feeling good about it.
It did bring a tear to my eye however, despite all the negativity, he did have a huge impact in my life. Not positively, but there are a few memories I will always cherish as the times I had a father and he was able to stay off the booze long enough to treat me like a son. There are of course loads of memories of disappointment and anger, but right now I'm letting those fall by the way side and savouring the moment.
Good call all those who said to call him, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, and once again apologies for the drama thread, but to all of you who said call him, you can genuinely say that you've affected someone's life in a positive way today
It's good to hear that you got closure with this and im sure that he would have got some closure by it himself.
Im sure your opinion wont change and you will remain "happy" that you decided to make the call.
As you say, it is the moments you cherish which will be the ones you will remember the longest.
Really pleased to hear that it turned out the way it did, and that you are content with the outcome... and thanks for posting your story on here!
Really pleased to hear that it turned out the way it did, and that you are content with the outcome... and thanks for posting your story on here!