Totally Misread This One

That Jekka Gal

That Jekka Gal

That Jekka Gal

Associate
Joined
2 Oct 2019
Posts
83
Went down to my local branch of Tout’s tonight to stock up for the big match and as I was standing in the queue to pay, the 3 Lions tune comes on the radio and I find myself singing along to it.

Presently, I’m aware that others are looking at me which emboldens me to raise my voice hoping that it would lead others to join in. Given the current national fervour surrounding the national team, I was imagining that this could turn into one of those amazing “Hands across the ocean” moments and there would be little old me at the centre of it all.

I was imagining the line of weird beards perusing the Amateur Modeller magazines would start swaying from side to side in unison. The 2 Muslim girls in the wine section would lift their veils and provide a wailing Bollywood style descant to the chorus and even the slow girls on the tills would heave their not inconsiderable posteriors into action and treat us to a gingham clad twerking routine.

So just before I launch into the big “Three Lions on a shirt“ finale, I let slip a quick “c’mon everyone” to implore everyone to come together and create this magic moment.

Sadly, it was at the point the words left my lips, in other words the point of no return, that I realised the gravity of my error.

I put my basket on the floor and made a swift exit. Very embarrassing though thank **** we’ve got a Londis in the village too.
 
EASXvJO.gif
 
That Jekka Gal said:
Went down to my local branch of Tout’s tonight to stock up for the big match and as I was standing in the queue to pay, the 3 Lions tune comes on the radio and I find myself singing along to it.

Presently, I’m aware that others are looking at me which emboldens me to raise my voice hoping that it would lead others to join in. Given the current national fervour surrounding the national team, I was imagining that this could turn into one of those amazing “Hands across the ocean” moments and there would be little old me at the centre of it all.

I was imagining the line of weird beards perusing the Amateur Modeller magazines would start swaying from side to side in unison. The 2 Muslim girls in the wine section would lift their veils and provide a wailing Bollywood style descant to the chorus and even the slow girls on the tills would heave their not inconsiderable posteriors into action and treat us to a gingham clad twerking routine.

So just before I launch into the big “Three Lions on a shirt“ finale, I let slip a quick “c’mon everyone” to implore everyone to come together and create this magic moment.

Sadly, it was at the point the words left my lips, in other words the point of no return, that I realised the gravity of my error.

I put my basket on the floor and made a swift exit. Very embarrassing though thank **** we’ve got a Londis in the village too.
Click to expand...

On the off chance that that really happened, if it was me, which it wouldn't have been, as I'm too ashamed to even buy The Sun for my father-in-law, in case someone assumes that I read it, I'd put my house on the market and move into an out of town hotel until my house was sold.
Singing that banal song in public, and encouraging others to join in, is second only to being outed as the local paedophile in my opinion.
 
Last edited:
You also have a Tesco and Waitrose.

Creepy eh?

Oh you are just so wasted on LSD nothing exists.
 
This isn't America (and you do know those tictok videos are all setup right?)

Remember we're a grumpy bunch and it's how we like it. Once the Euros have finished, you'll be hard pressed to find an England flag (apart from one of those EDL gatherings) let alone people singing :eek:

I said it in the Sports Area section....the second you start beliving is usually the point where England get knocked out. History tells us this! It's actually better not to start believing.
 
Bassmansam said:
Wtf is touts?
Click to expand...

I assumed that it was a convenience store when I read the context of the OP, but a tout in Northern Ireland during the Troubles was an informer.
Bit of a stretch by the OP to think that we should maybe know of Tout’s locations, maybe if it had been a Tesco, we’d have known what he was talking about.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom