Tuesdays Joke

(((RING))))

**Pick Up**

"Hello?"

"Hi honey, this is Daddy, Is Mommy near the phone?"

"No Daddy, She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle
Paul."

"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now"

Brief Pause


"Uh, okay then, ..this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door, and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway"

"Okay Daddy, just a minute"

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.

"I did it Daddy"

"And what happened honey?" he asked

"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"

"Oh no!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."


***Long Pause***



***Longer Pause**



Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool????.....Is this 486-5731?
 
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him. : A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Don't start, I've already got my coat and am out of the door.
 
~J~ said:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him. : A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Don't start, I've already got my coat and am out of the door.
Click to expand...
:(

5epthen's one was good, great joke thread....

the best of 2008.... [/fad]
 
Sonea Fifer said:
A man wants to go to a school reunion but he has lived too well and gained too much weight. Every diet he has tried has failed and he's moaning about it to a bloke in the bar. The bloke says he has a sure way of losing weight quickly and gives him a card.

At home the man rings the number on the card and is told it costs £250 to lose a guaranteed 10 lbs weight. Being rich, that is nothing to him so he agrees and gives his credit card details over the phone.

Next morning there is a knock at the door and when he opens it, a beautiful young woman comes into the house. She tells him that if he can catch her, he can have sex with her. He chases after her all over the house, eventually catches her and has sex with her. She then tells him to weigh himself and he finds that he has lost 10 lbs.

Pleased with this, he does it twice more and loses another 20 lbs but is school reunion is only a few days away now so he rings the number and asks them if they have a way for him to lose 50 lbs weight in one day. They say they have but don't recommend it. Also it costs £1000. The man is desperate and the money means little to him so he gives his card details.

Next morning there is a knock at the door and when he opens it, there is a huge black man, all of eight foot tall standing there. The man looks down at him, with a big smile on his face and says: "When I catch you white boy, your ass is mine."
Click to expand...

:D Good One :D
 
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