TV and Film Cliches That Get Your Goat.

Roland Butter

Roland Butter

Roland Butter

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13 Apr 2017
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scotland
I'm sure this is a recurring thread subject but, you know the sort of thing,

Car tyres squealing on dirt roads.

The unfeasible inability of 8 baddies to shoot machine guns straight at
a single superhero.

Car chases where the laws of physics are abandoned temporarily.

In Soaps the police always arrest people in the middle of
a party in the Vic or the Rovers rather than go to their actual postal address.

No one thinks of the bafflingly simple expedient of locking the door
when they are having illicit sex with their best friend's wife or when
looking for those compromising CCTV pictures on the boss's computer.

Amateur sleuths who are allowed access to police procedures,
personnel, evidence and witnesses and solve crimes that seasoned,
experienced professional detectives have drawn a blank on.
 
You should try watching Chinese tvb soaps the same music for a sad scene in every series haha like they only have a sample selection of 5 background tracks.
 
I Watched Han Solo jump start a Landspeeder by crossing few easily accessible wires a few days back!

Haven't been able to do that to cars for 20+ years now, but still see it regularly.
 
When the hero gets a full-on kick in the nuts, but shrugs it off as if nothing's happened. Mercifully it hasn't happened since I was at school, but last time I got hit in the 'nads it was at least five minutes before I could stand again ...

The one that really bugs me is when some nerdy, geeky or dorky male character falls in love with some unobtainable goddess, who either doesn't know he exists or flat-out rejects him - you just know they'll be together by the end of the film. Guess I'm just getting bitter and cynical in my old age, but that kind of B.S. doesn't happen in the real world ...
 
When something is set in Paris.. the Eiffel Tower is visible on the horizon.
Similarly for Rome.. has to be a shot of the Colosseum..
And London.. has to have Big Ben's tower...
And Moscow.. always Red Square with the cathedral/church

Regardless of the fact these cities are all bloody huge.
Its almost as though without these landmarks, the audience would say "Its Fake!" and walk out.
 
I don't tend to watch films/ programmes which are poorly written these days. I have much less patients. I usually avoid anything cliched and as soon as they rear their ugly heads, it usually time to quit. Avoiding programs like the Flash and that ridiculous programme Arrow and NCIS. I find that if you stick to HBO, you can't usually go wrong.
 
Car screeches to halt in bad part of town, cop/agent/whatever leaps out and goes after bad guys, nobody locks their doors.
A while later they come back to their car, open the unlocked door and just start the engine before driving off - They left it unlocked and in gear, with the key in the ignition, and the car has remained untouched all that time!!

People who point a firearm at someone but then rack the slide or operate the bolt, to add meaningful menace to their original demand.
Same for people who **** the hammer on a pistol.
More so for those who **** the non-existent hammer of a pistol with an internal striker.

Any film where a blade makes a metallic 'Shhhhhhhhhinnnngk' sound when sheathed/unsheathed.

Any film where someone is "The One", "The Chosen One" or some variant thereof.

Any film where, in any degree of seriousness, someone screams, "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". Bonus goats for those who scream at the sky and/or copy the poster image of Platoon.

Any film where a woman screams, "My baby!" in reference to her child being in danger. Kids have names. Some even have fathers, too...

Any film where somebody explains something perfectly adequately, and then someone else responds with "Are you trying to tell me that..." before summarising that explanation in a single sentence. Same for all variants, such as "So you're telling me that", "Are you telling me that", "You mean that", etc.

Any cop/agent/whatever with tragically killed family, unless it's The Punisher.

Any cop/agent/whatever with Dead Daddy Issues.

"We've got copmpany", "Don't you die on me" and "Not on my watch".... along with many other dialogue cheeses.
 
Adnams Drinker said:
The one that really bugs me is when some nerdy, geeky or dorky male character falls in love with some unobtainable goddess, who either doesn't know he exists or flat-out rejects him - you just know they'll be together by the end of the film. Guess I'm just getting bitter and cynical in my old age, but that kind of B.S. doesn't happen in the real world ...
Click to expand...

Anything involving Seth Rogan then, for such an utterly hideous man he keeps landing, or writing himself, into rom-com style events, where the girl isn't blind.
 
Adnams Drinker said:
When the hero gets a full-on kick in the nuts, but shrugs it off as if nothing's happened. Mercifully it hasn't happened since I was at school, but last time I got hit in the 'nads it was at least five minutes before I could stand again ...
Click to expand...

Even better when the hero gets beaten up by a bunch of bad guys/knocked unconscious/tied to a chair and brutally interrogated etc. etc. Next scene he is up and fighting fit, escaping, saving the girl, taking down the lead evil tough guy. No concussion, no facial injuries (maybe just a dab of makeup) and certainly no broken ribs or internal injuries.
 
Covert tracking devices that for some bizarre reason emit a load bleep and have a massive flashing red LED on them. Same goes for bombs too.

The constant racking of pump-action shotguns. Same for semi-auto pistols and the slide too.
 
Lots of The above and the biggest one for me is the wrong motorcycle engine sound. Not all bikes are inline 4s ffs.
 
Lack of insurance shots when knocking out the bad guy, allowing them to make a come back or run away.

If there is a somewhat nerdy character then they automatically know how to hack into the server.

In a horror film when the character is washing their face in the sink and looks up at the mirror. Boo! Jump scare!

The romantic sub plot. Usually during a lull in the action midway through they will be about to kiss but will be interrupted by something. It's only at the end that they get to kiss for real.

Pointing a gun at someone is only a mild threat. Turning the safety off means "I'm really going to shoot you now".

Jump scares in horror films that turn out to be a pet dog or cat etc.

In a car chase when 'driving stick', there is always that magical extra gear they can shift into to go another 50mph.

Cool guys who don't look at explosions.
 
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