Two of the funniest jokes you will ever hear. Ever* (*might not be true)

A cheese sandwich walks into a bar, and says to the Barman "pint of Guiness please!".

The barman says......"Sorry mate, we dont serve food"


I'll get me coat ;)
 
MikeHunt79 said:
SS, you've just reminded me of this:

comic2379zo6.png


:D
Click to expand...

Lol, that's excellent. Forwards on. :D
 
This is the funniest oke Ive heard on hear:

What do you do if you see someone having a fit in the bath?


Throw your washing in


beware of telling this joke! I was telling my mates down the pub when a rather irate bloke came over & said -You disgust me - my son was epileptic & died in the bath so thats not funny at all

After he calmed down I apologised & asked how his son had died


Choked on a sock apparently

And this is the funniest joke Ive heard recently:

Whats white on top and black at the bottom?



Society.
 
This one always makes me laugh

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday, he said 'Have
you ever shoed a horse?'
I said 'No, but I've told a donkey to **** off!'
or
Following a night out with a few friends, a man brought them back to show
off his new flat.
After the grand tour, the visitors were rather perplexed by the large gong
taking pride of place in the lounge.

'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the guests asked.

'Why, that's my Speaking Clock' the man replied.
'How does it work?'

'I'll show you', the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with
an unpadded hammer.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed,

'For ****'s sake, it's twenty to two in the morning!!'
 
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