Venting about the ex... :/

NeoReloaded · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:13

No not another relasionship thread... really. Long story short me and the missus broke up on boxing day just gone after 2 and a bit years together and having a little boy (one tommorow

), we had just a normal relasionship, the odd little rough patch, but just like any normal couple really. All was fine until the beggining of November when she started to become nasty and spiteful for no reason and really withdrew herself from me so obviously I started to keep a very close eye on her and noticed she had been hanging around with a crowd of guys and girls she knew from when she was younger!

I noticed this one certain guy would "Like" and comment a lot on her Facebook so started to get suspicious especially when she told me in mid December she was going xmas shopping in our local town only for me to watch her jump in this guys car with one of his mates and dissapear in the complete opposite direction of town! Got a txt from her around 8 that night saying she wouldn't be back till later as she had gone to BATH with "friends"!

From that point onwards up until we broke up if I asked what was going on she would get snotty and snarl "if you dont like who I hang around with you can move out" so that attitude and the fact it got to the point she wouldn't even speak to me we had a "mutual break up".

Only thing is she got with some one less than a week of me moving out and guess who it is... yep you guessed it (that guy) :/ Not really fussed what she does with her life, but I keep going through moods of being absolutely furious just for the fact that it looks like there's a 99% chance she was cheating on me and the fact she has brought another man into my little boys life straight after his daddy has left!!

Just a rant really, thanks for listening

kokuten · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:15

she sounds like a ****. just keep regular access with the little man thats all that matters!!!

MamaMia · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:16

Have a tissue.

Locky · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:22

Your ex sounds like a right slapper and be better off without her. does she claim?

Hedge · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:22

This is classic behaviour, Just be the bigger man, dont let her think you are bothered. Even if it winds you up act like nothing is the matter.

You dodged a bullet pal.

bazaarboy · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:22

it sounds like you haven't processed the breakup in your head yet
you say you're not bothered, but you had a long relationship and a little boy with her, and then she betrayed you and didn't have the decency to give it to your straight...
can I ask what the situation with your lad is? staying with who, access rights etc?

hurfdurf · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:23

Congrats on sticking your penis in crazy, and having a child with her.

Get tested for STD's asap if she was cheating on you, which it is pretty clear she was. I would also be tempted to make sure the kid was mine as well.

Try and meet a nice girl next time.

shoes · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:24

Go for custody, make her out to be mental, that'll really **** her up, and your boy won't have to deal with a new daddy.

NeoReloaded · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:27

bazaarboy said:
it sounds like you haven't processed the breakup in your head yet
you say you're not bothered, but you had a long relationship and a little boy with her, and then she betrayed you and didn't have the decency to give it to your straight...
can I ask what the situation with your lad is? staying with who, access rights etc?

He lives with her and I have him Wedensday nights and all day Saturday and over night every other weekend. I give her £60 a week which is lower than what I would have to pay if it went through the CSA.

yer_averagejoe · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:29

She was cheating on you, now she's with that guy. It won't last. It never does. At some point she'll come running back but by that point the damage will be done. It helps at this point if you have a girlfriend that is hotter than her so she can really go psycho all in one go rather than dragging it out over a long period and making your life a misery.

Either way, Things are about to get psycho.

bazaarboy · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:30

NeoReloaded said:
He lives with her and I have him Wedensday nights and all day Saturday and over night every other weekend. I give her £60 a week which is lower than what I would have to pay if it went through the CSA.

are you in a position to look after your son full time?
she sounds unpredictable and you could spare the boy a lot emotional turbulence (for many years) if he stayed with a sane dad

NeoReloaded · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:34

bazaarboy said:
are you in a position to look after your son full time?
she sounds unpredictable and you could spare the boy a lot emotional turbulence (for many years) if he stayed with a sane dad

Not really, at the moment I'm staying at my dads and work full time. My mum has offered to give up her job and look after him every day, but I really don't think thats fair on her to be fair. I fully expect to have him living with me when he is older though as I know his mum will push him away!

bazaarboy · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:38

NeoReloaded said:
Not really, at the moment I'm staying at my dads and work full time. My mum has offered to give up her job and look after him every day, but I really don't think thats fair on her to be fair. I fully expect to have him living with me when he is older though as I know his mum will push him away!

tricky position, you'll have to be diplomatic and maintain a good relationship with your ex for your son's sake

Spenty · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:39

Only ever seem to hear of these stories lately. Obviously there are happy couples who are loyal but the amount of friends I know who've been through similar and threads on here is quite astonishing.

Rids · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:42

hurfdurf said:
Congrats on sticking your penis in crazy, and having a child with her.

Get tested for STD's asap if she was cheating on you, which it is pretty clear she was. I would also be tempted to make sure the kid was mine as well.

Try and meet a nice girl next time.

While it could be worded a lot better, the advise in this post is actually sound.

ins0mn1ac · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:43

A mate of mine went through a similar situation just recently, just remember however much you hate her you need to keep things civil for the sake of your lad. You don't want her to make things difficult seeing him or whatever. Good luck

TNGL · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:44

NeoReloaded said:
Not really, at the moment I'm staying at my dads and work full time. My mum has offered to give up her job and look after him every day, but I really don't think thats fair on her to be fair. I fully expect to have him living with me when he is older though as I know his mum will push him away!

Perhaps he'll become too attached to his Mum, to want to live with you when he's older, if he's lived with her throughout his childhood? You should gain custody and have him living with you and your folks...

mame · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:54

NeoReloaded said:
I give her £60 a week which is lower than what I would have to pay if it went through the CSA.

That's fine but don't give her cash. Set up a standing order from your bank account to hers. Under 'reference', put your son's name.

Cupra · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:54

Locky said:
Your ex sounds like a right slapper and be better off without her. does she claim?

what does claiming have to do with anything?

hurfdurf · 15 Feb 2012 at 18:55

Rids said:
While it could be worded a lot better, the advise in this post is actually sound.

Yea I'm sorry, its just hard these days, constantly hearing about kids being born into completely broken homes through no fault of their own, I know no family is perfect but... well, there's not perfect and then there is the OP's situation.