Wed joke !

kai said:
Coats already on so.........

After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
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Did you know that copper wire was invented by two Scotsmen fighting over a penny?
 
In a bid to save the thread(Which is doubtful)

A bloke saw 6 dudes Kicking and punching his mother-in-law His wife said
"Aren't you gonna help?!?!?"
He said "Nah Six should be enough."


How did I do?
 
This thread needs some Jimmy Carr to save it:

Jimmy said:
I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking: "She should move."
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randal24 said:
This thread needs some Jimmy Carr to save it:
Click to expand...

OK:

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him ``Rover'' or ``Spot''. I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, ``I would like to have one too!'' Then I said, ``But she is a dog!'' He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, ``You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old.'' He replied, ``You must have been quite a strong boy.''

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, ``But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex.'' He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, ``You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night.'' The clerk said, ``Me too!''

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. ``You don't understand,'' I said, ``I hoped to have Sex on TV.'' He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, ``Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married.'' The Judge said, ``Me too!''

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, ``I'm looking for Sex.'' -- My case comes up next week.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, ``What seems to be the trouble?'' I replied, ``Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely.'' and the doctor said, ``Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog.''

;)
 
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