Wednesday Joke

Soldato
Joined
19 Jan 2006
Posts
4,679
Gary and Wayne were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics at London Gatwick.

One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Gary said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Wayne says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz! You wanna try it?'

So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed.

The next morning Gary wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!

Then the phone rings. It's Wayne. Wayne says, 'Hey, how do you feel this
morning?'
Gary says, 'I feel great, how about you?'
Wayne says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?'
Gary says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often!'

' Yeah, well there's just one thing.'
'What's that?'

'Have you farted yet?'

'No.'

'Well, DON'T, ' cause I'm in Edinburgh'
 
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Numerous case-studies have reported accidental poisoning in children as the result of drinking kerosene. These accidents are probably much more frequent in areas where kerosene is commonly used for cooking and heating. Drinking kerosene may cause vomiting, diarrhea, swelling of the stomach, stomach cramps, coughing, drowsiness, restlessness, irritability, and unconsciousness; also, it may be difficult to breathe, and breathing may be painful. Coughing, pneumonia, and difficult or painful breathing after drinking kerosene suggest that kerosene has entered the lungs. In addition, drinking large amounts of kerosene can put you into a coma, cause convulsions, and may even cause death. When kerosene gets on your skin for short periods, it can make your skin itchy, red, and sore; sometimes blisters may occur and your skin may peel.

http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxprofiles/phs75.html

Jet fuel ingestion is far from a joke people...
 
So far the scuba one is ahead, it raised a smirk, ugly photoshopped men in pants don't do it and unfortunately I've seen the other one before (it got a small laugh the first time I read it).
 
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