What things got to you and what differences you noticed when you first left the parental home

Moved in with my GF at 18, did my relationship with my mum a world of good - love her to bits, but my god we wind each other up when we spend more than a week or so together. :cry:

Bills sucked, although I was already working full time and paying a chunk in rent, so didn't come as too much of a surprise. Cooking was never an issue as I'd been cooking a family meal at least once a week for several years. No real down side I guess (except the increased bills) until the disruption after we broke up and I had to get my own place.
 
Haggisman said:
Bills sucked
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Not really specific to moving out but you feel it a bit more keenly when it includes stuff like rent - the only thing that really bothered me was the ever increasing cost of everything, the inevitable "rent going up inline with the area", etc. messing about changing providers for so many things to get the best prices while pay rises would be tiny amounts - I really feel for those in industries where pay has stagnated if not gone downwards.

You'd get to a place where everything was in balance and then sooner or later something would mess things up.

In general I just get on with stuff I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself.
 
I still go round to my parents house for tea a couple of nights a week ha. Because I have moved closer to them now. I should be more independent really but I like visiting and seeing them and the cat.

I live alone so I only cook a couple of meals a week and have leftovers for the other days.

I will get my own cats at some point which I think will give me company and make me want to stay in. Or maybe even a go.

But I kinda get bored.

.
 
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I triumphantly moved out at 17, scrapped together enough money for cheap cupboard food then realised I didn't own a can opener :(
 
I (semi) left home at 20 for university. Studied 3 years for a B(Eng.) + placement year as part of a sandwich course. The first thing I noticed is - why weren't my clothes nice and soft after I washed and tumble-dried them? Turns out I needed to use fabric conditioner which I haven't heard of before! For ironing, I cheated by hanging up my dry clothes immediately so that they didn't crease as much.

After my uni course, I left home for good at 24. I rented a cheap bedsit for 3.5 years. Realised I had to pay some of the bills, except for council tax as that was included in the rent. The boiler broke down a few times, so that was a bit of a waiting game for the landlord to arrange an engineer's visit every time it happened. On the plus side, I saved a few thousand pounds for a house deposit.

At 27, I got my own little semi-detached, 1 up 1 down jobby and I'm still there now at 42 with 10 years left on my mortgage.

I still don't have an ironing board :p
 
I left home at 20 to join the RAF, 15 years later I'm still serving. I'm married with 2 children and I own my own home.

I grew up in a military family so nothing really shocked me when I 'flew the coop'.
 
Left home at 30 lived in a flat, hated it, moved into another flat nearly committed suicide, went into another flat broke down emotionally. Now live in a Bungalow which I love, neighbour is a **** but I visit and stay with the family on occasions which keeps my mental state going to a point. Autism, mesophonia ( fear of noise ) etc played havoc for many years. So no I haven't done too well away from the family, and I still miss many parts of it.
 
Malevolence said:
I've gone full circle, I left home at 18 when I moved down to Bath for University, but I'm one of those people who could pitch a tent in a forest and quite easily survive so living away from home wasn't a problem. Did get lucky at university though as I moved into a huge shared house with three other people. Now, many years later, I've had to move back in with my parents to help my Mother care for my old man. Don't know what to do now my old man has been taken into a nursing home.
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Im really sorry to hear :(

Maybe moving in somewhere close to your mum will afford you both the opportunity to live your own lives, while still offering the support you currently give :)
 
Couldn't wait to leave home and so joined the army at 16 and didn't have to think about anything - they took food and accom and from source - provided 3 hot meals a day and taught how to iron etc.

Bit of a cheat really, as i'm still crap at cooking, but several years on, Army > RAF has given me financial security, own home etc.
 
Eurofighter said:
I still go round to my parents house for tea a couple of nights a week ha. Because I have moved closer to them now. I should be more independent really but I like visiting and seeing them and the cat.


.
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Do this as often as possible. Good for them, good for you.
 
Ah. The Wonder Years.

I left home at 18 and shacked up with a Czech bird that was working in UK illegally in a factory job.

New Road, Littlehampton, 1999 to 2001 in a small bedsit. 3 years of debauchery, sex, music, poverty (although didn't feel like it at the time), working my arse off for crap wages. I credit that bird with teaching me the ways of the world.

First time she sent me shopping on my own I bought a couple of pizza bases, 9p Tesco twinkies, a milkshake and pack of biscuits. I was never sent again.

A special 'date' would be taking bus 700 or 702 (iirc) to Brighton, for her to go listen to classical music in WH Smith and for me to go to the pier and play arcade games or read a book in Borders I couldn't afford to buy. Or we'd go walk along Littlehampton 'beach front' (icy cold wind, filthy brown water, stony beaches). Or the Spotted Cow pub where we'd share a couple of beers and plate of chips. Mostly we just stayed home, played music CDs we got a guy to burn for us for free, and shagged, a lot.

As with females being more mature than men, she eventually started talking about babies and I simply couldn't fathom doing that. It was crazy talk. We'd be young forever, we'd do this forever, why mess with a good thing. Plus we had no money.

She moved on and back to Czech, I moved out and went to university. And then life just became grey for 3 years. Moved to London at 24, shared house thing. And learned how to shop, suffer, go hungry, be sensible. Probably too much needless suffering, relative poverty and struggles with aimlessness. I kept that up to age 32 (although finances improved somewhat), moved to NZ for a change and laugh, did the same here for a year or so, found myself to be closer to 35 than I ever thought possible and sorted out my **** overnight and grew up. 41yo as I sit here, wife asleep in other end of house, 14 month old baby asleep in her own room. An extremely comfortable retirement about 9 years away. I've probably come a long long way from New Road but by the gods it felt like trudging through mud to get here. And I'm not a 100% sure I'm neccesarily happier now than I was then, eventhough my wealth and circumstances are just galaxies away from those times.

Side note. Czech bird found me on Facebook in 2012 just before I logged off for good. She was married, 3 kids, husband had good job, her own home and all that she thought she wanted. But all she wanted to do was to wind back the clock a decade and go back to New Road for some Oasis or The Corrs on a burned CD, a small bedsit and a young English boy in bed with her :p

I always thought that if my life blew up, wife left me, etc. I'd get back in touch, rent the same bedsit again (still there on google maps) and see if she wanted to come over.

Anyway, probably a mile away from the OP question, but got me reminiscing.

Edit.

Eventhough we have the means for our daughter never to go through the poverty and suffering I endured (wife from more hoity toity background), I still think there was some beauty in that. Definitely not at the time, but not so terrible with some distance and hindsight. I want her to experience the same things but with the knowledge that she has the funds to draw on if ever she needs it.
 
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Moved out into a place of my own. Which is an education they don't teach you at school or college. How do you furnish a place? What about basics like cutlery and dishes etc? Where do they come from?!

Terminal_Boy said:
No matter how much laundry I put into my laundry bin, it didn’t magically appear ironed in my wardrobe and drawers 2 days later.
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Aye thats the worst thing, that and dirty dishes don't magically disappear to reappear shiny clean back in the cupboard. Food doesn't cook itself, either. Also possibly related: food shopping is hard work. As in physically laborious, bags and bags of shopping are heavy. Who knew?!

Bouton Aide said:
Bills :D
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That as well. "How much?????!!!! You're joking, right?!"
 
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Neil79 said:
Left home at 30 lived in a flat, hated it, moved into another flat nearly committed suicide, went into another flat broke down emotionally. Now live in a Bungalow which I love, neighbour is a **** but I visit and stay with the family on occasions which keeps my mental state going to a point. Autism, mesophonia ( fear of noise ) etc played havoc for many years. So no I haven't done too well away from the family, and I still miss many parts of it.
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Not too dissimilar to my own story. I'm currently in the process of being diagnosed with misophonia [see the mental health thread].

Lived in halls/student housing in uni but that doesn't really count. First year - halls, best year of my life probably; second year, student house [terrible]; third year, another student house [a lot better].

Came back home aged 22 and it was difficult to readjust to having to live under someone else's rules but mostly fine. Left home properly at 25 and moved in with my gf of the time. After a year it became clear that living with a significant other may not be for me. But I stuck it out for another year before telling her I wanted to live on my own. I think it was around this time that depression proper started to seep in.

Moved into my own flat aged 27, got more depressed. I relished the independence but didn't take care of the place well at all, and moved out after two years with a pretty dirty flat and a chunk taken out of my deposit. Moved in with my next gf aged 29, married her. We've moved house twice since, both times because the landlord wanted the property back.

We've lived in our current place for over seven years now. I am not happy living on my own, and not happy living with someone else either. Hence why I have had to admit I have issues, and these are currently being faced up to in therapy.
 
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