What to do (Friends problem)

M0T said:
This went on for a few minutes whilst I debated going out to sort them out, instead I decided to go home.
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It takes a braver guy to walk imho, I probably would've kicked off.... but it isn't worth it.

Please find new friends. Granted friends always jest about you - but all I my friends would say criticisms about me to my face, so I don't mind them talking behind my back.
 
jdickerson said:
Please find new friends. Granted friends always jest about you.
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This is true, I always have banter with my mates, and at the end of the day it's quite easy to tell when they are jesting and it's never a malicious thing. But it sounded like much more than that with the OP, they really seemed to be ********* rather than his friends, seriously people who would say such things I would not count as friends at all.

And an apology doesn't cut it.
 
Ignore them and find a new circle of friends, and see if/when they come running back. Don't argue with them, that's far to female like. It could have been a joke, but your the best judge of that, and personally if my mates did that i would inflict some pain on them!

Throughout life your circle of friends change with intrests, i am personally becoming sick of my friends and how childish they act, lifting snacks from shops, starting fights, drugs, etc. Not my thing really. Most of them have dead end jobs and live at home with mummy so they have nothing to lose, i have bought my own place and have my career planned out ahead of me. Big reason why i am considering moving to the big smoke.
 
**** them.

They're not friends in the first place if they said things behind your back, even if they apologised or not, which they probably just did to get back into your good books so you could buy them more beer.
 
Me and my 2 closest friends always **** off each other behind each other's backs, but only about the same sort of things that we say to each other's face. Then again, we've been friends for over 14 years so we know what each of us thinks about the others. You don't sound like you've known each other as long and don't have the same kind of dynamic, so the comments probably were genuinely intended negatively. I think the 2nd person is the genuine malefactor here - the others may have simply been laughing out of nervousness, not knowing how to respond to the guy's bitchiness (although they should've stood up for you).
 
M0T said:
I was only barely listening at the begining because I didn't realise they were talking about me.

They were insulting someone and I was thinking that it was a bit harsh. Then one of them said that the only reason they invited them out was so that they had someone to laugh at, which prompted the loving freaks comment.

This was followed by friend 2 recounting when I was drunk one time 4 years ago (I was talking rubbish for several hours, total babble), followed by comments about how he was glad I didn't move in with him because he didn't like me very much.

This went on for a few minutes whilst I debated going out to sort them out, instead I decided to go home.
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Having heard that I agree with the others in this thread - find new friends.
 
I agree with all the comments above.

Distance yourself from them, and stick with the people you know are true friends. Also, as others have suggested, try and find yourself a new circle of friends, be it through work, or other ways.

Most of all, chin up, you don't need ********* in your life like that anyway.
 
You would be a mug to stay friends with 2 and 4. I'm guessing 1 and 3 were probably too insecure / or didn't want any bother so didn't defend you but probably mean you no harm.
 
Agree with most people on this, get rid of them. If they are slagging you off between them selves they will probably **** you off to new people (potential new mates) that you may meet.

I trust about 25% of my friends and i have a good few but after a bad experience i do tend to choose my friends quite a lot!

Ross
 
are you sure they didnt know you could hear.

i always joke about my mates saying things like "i wish he would just move out, he is a ****" when i can hear them coming through the door.
 
Kyle009 said:
are you sure they didnt know you could hear.

i always joke about my mates saying things like "i wish he would just move out, he is a ****" when i can hear them coming through the door.
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I'm guessing that's said in a certain tone of voice though, by the sounds of it these mates weren't joking, especially as they apologised.

If it were just banter I don't think they would have apologised, probably just laughed it off... And the things said do seem a bit harsh too for them to be joking around.

I'll be your friend M0T.
 
One More Solo said:
"Accidentally" send friend 2 a message saying what a **** you think he is.
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Heh, I like this idea.

If I were in your shoes, I'd forget about 'em. Find new friends and see if the old "friends" still want anything to do with you if the onus is on them to make the first move. Sounds like a couple of them might, but I guess the other 2 won't even bother staying in touch.

Move on. It's their loss not your's from the sound of things.
 
Depends on what they said... but I would sarcastically bring it up at the next opportunity - if only to see the look on their faces..

Actually that would probably only have worked if you hadn't mentioned it already.

BB x
 
Everyone talks about other people behind their back, get over it, they were probably just killing time until you came back and didnt mean any of it.

Or you can take it all to heart and lose some friends.
 
i really feel for you dude...use them, you now know their true colours etc so just get your use of out them and dont go out of your way to help them of course dont let them get on to what your thinking though....some friends are better then no friends..

i used to have many friends in my teenage years now at the age of 27 I can honestly say I dont have any "true" friends...the people I know are people are work with, fortunately I have a great gf but i feel embarrased sometimes because I cant make her feel apart of a bigger crowd...Not that she has many mates either..

The strangest thing though is that if you met us you wouldnt think with our personalities and sense of humour we really dont have many friends between us...

I wonder how as you get older you make friends...girls in my experience seem to gel bar those who just have personality clashes but for us men I think its harder to make friends as we get older...

what do you think?
 
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