What would you do in this situation....

zootfloot · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:32

Strange scenario here, but one that we have just been discussing at work and one that has me divided, here goes....

You and your wife receive a phonecall from an acquaintance telling you that it is his wife's 40th birthday coming up, to celebrate the fact they are going to a restaurant for a meal, there will be 20-30 people there.

You go for the meal and enjoy it, at the end of the meal a waitress brings out the bill and the gentleman who invited you to the meal states that the meal has come to X amount of pounds and it works out at £30.00 per person.

This has shocked both of you as you were expecting the inviter to pay for everyones meals, and as you turned up with this in mind you had very little cash on you, so had to loan some from other attendee's

The question is this, is it wrong of this couple to have expected this person to foot the bill?

My thoughts are that yes they were in the wrong, they only asked if they would like to come for a meal to celebrate his wife's birthday, they didnt invite them to a party.

This has completely split the office, half say yes they are wrong, they other half say no they werent wrong and the inviter should pay.

Whats your thoughts?

Rich_L · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:33

Go expecting to pay, be pleasantly surprised if you don't have to.

Freefaller · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:34

Agreed. I'd never assume that someone is paying.

MowyTone · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:35

I would never assume that the inviter is footing the bill unless they say they are going to do so. especially if there are 30ish people going as thats going to be in the thousands

buckeejit · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:36

this.

J.T · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:38

/thread

kempythe2nd · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:38

I am shocked anyone would go along not expecting to pay...

Tute · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:40

Raikiri · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:41

I wouldn't expect them to pay, it would come to £900. Even if it's less don't expect to get a free meal.

antijoke · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:41

Go along expecting to pay, unless told that it's paid for.

Cosimo · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:42

Yup, how could you ever expect anything else.

mjt · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:43

This. How you could possibly think anything else is beyond me.

Did you not even have a card between the two of you?
Who goes to a restaurant without money or at least a card just in case.

Very odd.

wordy · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:47

This, and if you don't have to pay maybe buy a nice bottle of wine to say 'thank you' afterwards

britboy4321 · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:48

Go expecting to pay. It's a restaurant. Otherwise invitee is going to be paying up > £600!

AND ANOTHER QUESTION that happened to me in real life.

You go to a 'bring a bottle' birthday party. You bring a £15 bottle of vodka to slurp. You walk in, put it down and start taking your coat off. At that point birthday boy host WHISKS AWAY the vodka without saying a word and pours it all into the 'communal punch', and says 'thanks mate go on have some' offering you a plastic cup full of horrid gunk..

The punch tastes horrible so now you have no booze for the whole night and £15 shy in your back pocket. What is your reaction to 'birthday boy'?

cotton_flex · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:49

Exactly!

You can invite people to go out, birthdays/anniversaries etc but that doesn't mean you will be paying as well. Only when say if its a house party, then I would take some drinks/munchies with me.

From the OP, I gather half the office only went along for the free meal ticket rather than to spend some money and take part in well wishing the couple!

deuse · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:50

The person that invited you should pay for everything or at least tell you that you have to pay for yourself.

Rich_L · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:50

Drink the punch

Vixen · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:51

I'd never expect someone to pay for my meal just because they invited me, especially if I knew there were going to be so many people!

EDIT: As far as britboys question, in my experience "bring a bottle" means bring something to be put on a drinks table and shared by everyone at the party.

zootfloot · 29 Jan 2010 at 14:52

Strange one this, but we cannot work out why there is such a split at work, its not class or money as its a complete mixed bag, its also nothing to do with race, colour, religion etc etc.

It just seems that half of the people here would fully expect to pay, the other half wouldnt.

I must admit i am shocked that anyone would go there expecting not to pay.

deuse · 29 Jan 2010 at 15:01

I have never been invited to a party\dinner and dance were I have had to pay.
Same goes for me if I invite people to my party they don't pay.

The only time I have paid is when we all knew it was a get together and we would pay for ourselves.