What would you do? (relationship)

CaptainComedy · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:16

You've met the love of your life, your soul mate, the perfect opposite of you... but she was brought up a christian so no sex before marriage.... what would you do? stay or go?

Before anyone says I'm not being shallow, it's a big thing for me. A very big thing.

Nix · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:17

I'd wait till she fell asleep.

Andybtsn · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:17

Ask her to marry you.

Missing.String · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:18

Chloroform?

CaptainComedy · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:18

sorry nix I don't share the humour tonight. Not feeling good at the moment but w/e

andy: marrying for sex isn't the best reason to get married.

rare · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:19

I would wait if it were true. Would you place sex over potential life long partnership?

mattheman · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:19

codec said:
You've met the love of your life, your soul mate, the perfect opposite of you... but she was brought up a christian so no sex before marriage.... what would you do? stay or go?

Before anyone says I'm not being shallow, it's a big thing for me. A very big thing.

lol thats bull. howold is she, and there could be a reason why she saying that could it be a man?

MikeTimbers · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:20

Sexual compatibility is very important in a relationship. If you aren't compatible it is highly llikely to be the death of the relationship so if you can't test it, getting married in hope would be a huge risk.

Maybe shallow but sex is a big part of love. It keeps you close and if instead it pushes you apart you have no chance.

mattheman · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:20

rare said:
I would wait if it were true. Would you place sex over potential life long partnership?

sex is marriage once the sex goes thats it, the love goes, next min your driving down some alley way with your window down looking for your substitute.

CaptainComedy · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:21

mattheman said:
lol thats bull. howold is she, and there could be a reason why she saying that could it be a man?

She's 28. There is no other reason.

rare · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:21

sex is marriage once the sex goes that it, the love goes.

Thats rubbish.

Marriage and love are more than just sex. I am not saying that its not important, obviously it is. But once sex goes, thats it?....thats a terrible view to have.

Pestilence · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:21

One up the bum, no harm done.

starfighter · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:23

If she had such belives she wouldn't be the love of my life. So it isn't going to happen.

Hitman_Leon · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:23

mattheman said:
sex is marriage once the sex goes thats it, the love goes.

You really have to bow to such insightfull wisdom.

hsp70 · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:23

if she's the love of your life then she must be worth the wait. If it's a big enough problem that you are considering whether the wait is worth the relationship then i don't think she qualifies.

I think it might be helpful to sit down with her and talk about some boundaries about what she considers as "sex" and what is permissible then decide from there.

Nix · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:24

starfighter said:
If she hadd such belives she wouldn't be the love of my life. So it isn't going to happen.

Stop putting the poon on a pedestal; it will only ever backfire! Give her a couple of backhands and tell her that being bummed is for her own good. Girls like that.

starfighter · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:28

Nix said:
Stop putting the poon on a pedestal; it will only ever backfire! Give her a couple of backhands and tell her that being bummed is for her own good. Girls like that.

LOL, this approach may well work.

But seriously she should be understanding to your views aswell as her own. sex is a big part of a relationship. How can you say you want to only have sex with her for the rest of your life if you don't know what it is like?

Seems like 1 step away from an arranged marrage to me.

Hades · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:29

Serious answer... If she really was/is the love of your life then I would wait for sex. I don't want to go into my own circumstances but I met one person one time in my life who I felt this way about. She was exactly the opposite of me and very religious although that's nothing to do with the reason we aren't together. I had no choice but to walk away. I absolutely know that if circumstances were different then I would have done almost anything to be with her. I had to walk away. It hurt a lot.

But it also depends on your experience with girls. I am (probably) older than you and have more "life experience" and therefore know absolutely that she would have been the right person. But sometimes that feeling can be misunderstood for infatuation. You need to ask yourself whether it's just infatuation or if she is, deep down, the right person.

I made the right decision for my circumstances but it wasn't the decision that made me happy. If you have the opportunity for lifelong happiness, and believe she is the right one for you, then my advice would be to grab that opportunity and do whatever you need to to achieve it.

Best of luck

I know what I'd do in your circumstances.

CaptainComedy · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:30

I just don't want to wait 4 or 5 years, get married and then find out it wasn't worth the wait I guess.... Sex is a big thing for me, I get "frustrated" and act out of character etc etc. And if thats what I marry into I would end up getting divorced pretty quickly...

I don't want to waste my time... but I don't want to say I didn't take a chance...

Van Hellseek · 18 Oct 2009 at 00:31

How can you know she's perfect for you if you've never had physical relations with her?

Personally I'd get out. Way out. Fast.