What would you do?

Anewbe4u

Anewbe4u

Anewbe4u

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Joined
26 Dec 2003
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2,224
You know a girl, she's your best friend, she is very secretive and doesn't tell you much at all, her philosophy is a problem shared is a problem doubled.

Skip forward to an argument which comes from me hugging her, she doesn't like to be touched, I question her about this and she starts to cry, she finally confesses to being raped a couple of years ago at uni by a so called friend. She was undergoing chemotherapy and he came round to “take care of her” She was so week she couldn’t do anything.

Basically she won’t tell anyone this ever again, her telling me was a milestone for her. She wants nothing to happen regarding this situation. I just feel terrible for her though and also probably in a selfish way want to destroy this guy. I don’t know his full name but could probably find out who he is.

I can’t really speak to anyone else about this and as this is a fairly anonymous forum I thought I’d seek some advice. What would people here do?
 
Tell her you understand and that you'll be there for her if she ever needs anybody to talk to.
dunno.gif
 
Go to him and beat the living **** out of him. He wont complain seeing as you could've just reported it, and she wont know.

:edit: damn this is Zefan still, might have to log in to my account in a minute :o
 
Grrrrr said:
Just try to be a good friend. Do nothing about the guy that raped her
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to be honest thats what I've done so far, been 2 weeks, but the more I think about it the more it upsets me.

I think I know what I should do I guess and thats just be there for her, anything else would probably only upset her.
 
Just be there for her. She's told you, therefore she trusts you enough not to be a donkeyhole about it. There's very little that can be done tbh. It's unlikely the guy could be brought to justice this far on, and kicking him in certainly wont score YOU any points with the Police.

Be there for her and be supportive, and if she doesnt mention it, avoid mentioning it also.
 
Grrrrr said:
Just try to be a good friend. Do nothing about the guy that raped her
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its pretty much all you can do - try and aliviate her fears that anyone could turn on her at any point and be a good friend too her. Don't go after the guy, or if you do don't tell her about it. Tell her there are oranisations of people who have been through the same thing that will help her if she wants to talk to anyone else - or take things further with the police etc, but don't put any pressure on her what so ever.
 
Going to be hard for you - be sympathetic by all means, but don't be a sucker either.

I realise your heart is in the right place, but how do you think she'd react to you posting her story on a forum? :eek:
 
I would try be there for her as much as I possibly could. And if I ever came across the guy...well, he most certinally won't be walking anymore, or breathing for that matter.
 
Ice On Fire said:
he most certinally won't be walking anymore, or breathing for that matter.
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I'd also have words/give him a kicking to be honest.

If she's not in contact with him anymore then she'll never find out, and he's not exactly going to run to the police shouting "he beat me up because I raped this girl".

It'd give you sweet SWEET vengeance :)
 
Her pain is far greater then any anger you feel now.

She told you in confidence , respect that confidence.

Mark
 
meggy-vengeance said:
I'd also have words/give him a kicking to be honest.

If she's not in contact with him anymore then she'll never find out, and he's not exactly going to run to the police shouting "he beat me up because I raped this girl".

It'd give you sweet SWEET vengeance :)
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"He beat me up because he thinks I raped this girl"?

As mentioned before, unless there is evidence you are sunk. Going to beat the **** out of him might land you in trouble rather than him, and won't solve anything as those sort of injuries heal. Unless you kill him. Which doesn't help your situation any further either.
 
Seems she just wants to put it behind her. Going and doing what feels good will doubtless find its way back to her...these things have a habit of doing so.

Just be there for her, kicking him in wont make her feel better and its her you should be concerned about really.

Does burn to think that animals like this get away with things like this though...
 
anewbe4u said:
What would people here do?
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I would put your friend first, last and in-between. You can support, encourage and perhaps gently and slowly advise, but above all, let her play it her way and at her speed. Ignore the bloke.



But, were it me and I were convinced this bloke had done what is alleged, well, sometimes justice has a way of being poetic. I wouldn't lay a finger on him, but it wouldn't surprise me if, one fine night, he got involved in a ruck and had the living poop beaten out of him, quite possibly accompanied by a variety of personal indignities.

And if the girl concerned were my daughter, or granddaughter, well, he'd be best advised to turn himself in and confess.
 
mrdbristol said:
Her pain is far greater then any anger you feel now.

She told you in confidence , respect that confidence.

Mark
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seconded.

She's finally found someone she can trust with this information, the last thing she needs now is for that trust to be broken.
 
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