What's the best double entedre you have ever found?

Beren

Beren

Beren

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Just came accross this online (ohh Matron) and had to share...

"Their logic is that the more movement the rod tip has, the better. On the other hand though, you need to expend minimum physical energy to continually and effectively work the rod."

"...A soft tipped, or soft actioned rod cushions the movement of the lures at depth and lacks the backbone to hit cod hard..."
 
Chairperson at a recent meeting:

"We need to expose ourselves to the whole of west London"

I couldn't control my laughter! :D
 
Ten minutes before the end of Friday work today someone asks me "Can you give me one?"
 
I can't remember the exact wording but a cricket commentator with two (un)fortunately named players said "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie" which always get a chuckle from me.

I found these as well which are all pretty good!

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"


2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them .....

Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."


7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so
hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in
his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
 
^^^ Thanks for those :D

I love the classic cricket one: "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willie" and the rest are just as good!! :)
 
A guy at work was complaining yesterday that he must have slept at a funny angle at bed as his neck was hurting him. I bitterly regret telling him, "You should try to keep it moving as you wouldn't want it to get stiff".
 
the fanny craddock one, where the guy says "well i hope all your doughnuts look like fannys".
 
My gym had an sign up in the entrance for months advertising "Free facials for all the ladies". I sniggered every time I walked past it.

My well known policeman friend is a certified 'methods of entry' specialist who has been trained to kick back doors in.

oo-er matron
 
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