Where did you meet your girlfriend/boyfriend?

Surfer · 20 Dec 2007 at 14:55

Nitefly said:
You are partially right, but on the other hand, rubbish.

Confidence does work. Zefan (Rudolph..) saying all you need is confidence is true. Everyone loves confident people. With your football example, only the whingiest whiniest mope would take such a compliment in that way. Maybe you should learn to accept compliments and encouragement too?

Getting confidence is very hard. Personally I go for the 'I'm totally awesome, so if people don't like me its them, not me!' attitude, but it doesn't work for all.

Of course having confidence helps! I'm not saying that confidence isnt a good thing. I'm saying that to get to B you need to go through A.

Both Zefan and JodieG are saying that no you can have confidence by faking it or just pretend to be confident. And by doing that you magically become confident. In other words they can turn someone who is shy, repressed and awkward in social situation into someone who is a confident happy person just by imagining themselves confident? Now i didnt totally discount that. Its a good soundbite...cookie cutter advice if you will. But thats as far as it goes.

Saying all you need is confidence is true is just like these examples are true:

a) Anorexic/Serious weight problem "all you need to do is eat 4 meals a day dear"

b) Alcoholic " just dont drink ok!"

Now in both a and b of course the truth is eat properly and dont drink then because thats the simple solution isnt it. But would you really say that to someone who was Anorexic/Alcoholic?

No you wouldnt because its unbelievably crass and condescending.

Maybe you should learn to accept compliments and encouragement too?

?

I was a support worker working with people with various problems for a charitable organisation
(seeing as you're making this personal)
But you're right i was quite shy maybe about 10 years ago......i have no problems approaching people/women or most type of social situation at all....... but my opinion is at least based upon both my experiences and my direct experience of people with similar problems.

Bony Maloney · 20 Dec 2007 at 15:28

I met my girlfriend through bizarre circumstances. Her Lurchers got out and killed 2 of my cats. This is all behind us now, a year later and we are dating

It never fails to surprise people when we are asked "how did you 2 meet up then" Come to think of it, it never fails to surprise me. Love knows no boundaries

jaykay · 20 Dec 2007 at 16:18

I feel lonely now after reading this.

Meh i'll try and see what I can do at a party tomorrow.

RoboCod · 20 Dec 2007 at 16:31

jaykay said:
I feel lonely now after reading this.
Meh i'll try and see what I can do at a party tomorrow.

danielmp007 · 20 Dec 2007 at 16:37

A friend of a friend seems to be working for me, but if you have huge cahjones then go for the supermarket...

romperstomper · 20 Dec 2007 at 16:44

danielmp007 said:
A friend of a friend seems to be working for me, but if you have huge cahjones then go for the supermarket...

yeah the girls on the till are easy prey ;

1 they have to talk to you

2 they can't walk away

3 there their every week

TrUz · 20 Dec 2007 at 17:16

I met my wife in Cyprus.

TrUz

-Ad- · 20 Dec 2007 at 17:55

Met her at uni, n my first year actually. Had an average start to my uni life, people in hall were a bit boring and i was shy so they did not give me the push i needed to get me out of my shell. Met loads of people in another through a mate who was also at Notts Uni, and we have all lived together for ages.

mrs came back from her year abroad (3rd year) and we all lived in a house of 7 for our 4th years. Our relationship went from great friends to something sooo much more over the course of 06-07 and we are moving down to london together in Jan.

madman045 · 20 Dec 2007 at 18:03

I went against my own rules to a degree, always said i would never get involved with anyone work related, however when i started my current job, my 1st client was at her uncle's business, and one of the guys she works with was winding her up, eventually she asked me out for a drink and the rest is history as they say, 3yrs on, married and two children

Dark_Injection · 20 Dec 2007 at 18:06

Through my mate (my g/f is his younger sister) , and also partially through the internet, bit of both used!

Talked a lot online but i initially knew her through him. Met up, i went to uni, found out we clicked, started taling on the phone all the time, came home for a few visits and then we started going out

PureAppleJuice · 20 Dec 2007 at 18:07

At school hehe. Been together 3.5 years now :s

ChrisJSY · 20 Dec 2007 at 18:27

Inadvertently online after a year long friendship, turned into more, a year and a bit later, twas over.

Scared me off them crazies for a while

alexakasloth · 20 Dec 2007 at 20:02

Over msn, she added me, we talked, met up with a couple of friends, then I went round hers and we started dating. That was 4 years ago, might be over soon though.

helpimcrap · 20 Dec 2007 at 20:12

jaykay said:
But don't you need to be really confident to just ask out a random girl?

no. i have little self confidence when talking to random girls.

BUT... i do have a rugged determination to make myself do something i find uncomfortable and therefore plan it, and just go and do it.

worked on the last 2 gf's. admittedly one i chatted up over a period of time. the last one i saw, i spoke to, i asked her out, then it was all good for a while.

having confidence makes it easier... as well as a couple of interesting things to keep the conversation going if she's shy.

IceShock · 20 Dec 2007 at 22:11

gumbald said:
As you're from Yorkshire, guessing that was from Hull?

you know it

Gobbledegeek · 20 Dec 2007 at 23:19

Alchemy said:
Where did you meet your girlfriend/boyfriend?

In a West End town, a dead end world...

Merry Christmas

Cupra · 21 Dec 2007 at 00:25

in a campsite, going to the toilet naked at half 3 in the morning, durin the 2005 iom tt

theforce · 21 Dec 2007 at 00:51

In Sparta!!!!

Amleto · 21 Dec 2007 at 01:02

theforce said:
In Sparta!!!!

in the shade?

i met mine on the interwebs. true story.

Elephant08 :P · 21 Dec 2007 at 01:09

The problem I have is that I can speak 'with confidence' on the net, but then face to face just destroys me. I have liked someone at College for almost a year, in my science class she used to speak to me all the time on MSN, but hardly at school so I thought she liked me

...someone spread I liked her 'a lot' and she was quite angry, and hasn't spoke much at all since, but always seems to look at me at college.. (in disgust?)..I did speak to her mate, who spoke to her, and that night she spoke slightly and all jolly, but at school I don't know how to approach her after whats happened = she is really hard..

Any feedback/advice?