Which Uni?

ivrytwr3 · 5 Feb 2022 at 08:40

Morning all,

My lad has had a few conditional offers to study Law and has narrowed it down to these (should he get the required grades!)

Warwick - has an e-sports centre + an hour and a half away from home (attended open day).
UEA - the Law facilities look good and the smallish campus seems friendly + an hour and a half away from home (attended open day).
Kent - a good Uni, but 3 and a half hours away + most likely an expensive area?

A sensitive lad with a mum who does EVERYTHING for him, very little experience of the real world. I want him to go to a good Uni, but i also want him to be safe and have a good experience and if needed, we are close-by, but not close enough that Mum will be visiting every weekend - lol.

Anyone been to any of the above? Any comments or advice? I never did the Uni thing first time around and ended up with a degree later on in life - so no idea what's good and what isn't.

SPG · 5 Feb 2022 at 08:53

Tell him to find a apprentice ship or graduate scheme instead.

Lmg80 · 5 Feb 2022 at 08:58

SPG said:
Tell him to find a apprentice ship or graduate scheme instead.

Graduate schemes IMO are degree based, so moot?

Op I have no experience of either - I think it's going to be a case of visiting all and gaining an understanding of all.

Luckystrike123 · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:08

I can't offer specific advice on the course or uni but from my experience, university snobbery exists during graduate recruitment, so the highest ranked / most prestigious institution would be best.

Bassmansam · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:37

I read that Cambridge and Oxford are the best universitys in the country.

loftie · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:41

ivrytwr3 said:
Morning all,

My lad has had a few conditional offers to study Law and has narrowed it down to these (should he get the required grades!)

Warwick - has an e-sports centre + an hour and a half away from home (attended open day).

UEA - the Law facilities look good and the smallish campus seems friendly + an hour and a half away from home (attended open day).

Kent - a good Uni, but 3 and a half hours away + most likely an expensive area?

A sensitive lad with a mum who does EVERYTHING for him, very little experience of the real world. I want him to go to a good Uni, but i also want him to be safe and have a good experience and if needed, we are close-by, but not close enough that Mum will be visiting every weekend - lol.

Anyone been to any of the above? Any comments or advice? I never did the Uni thing first time around and ended up with a degree later on in life - so no idea what's good and what isn't.

I know people who went to UEA and they enjoyed it. I'd suggest leaning towards the one he felt most comfortable/at home with tbh. I'd also suggest trying to find out from the students if any accomodation has any issues. As an example, the accomodation at my uni was notorious for noise being near the uni night club - not an issue or so I thought. Ended up having 3 fire alarms a night on average, think the max was 5 or 7, getting about 3 hours of broken sleep a night while doing one of the more lecture intensive degrees meant I ended up moving home and commuting.

peterwalkley · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:49

Can he work a washing machine, cook a meal for himself (bunging something into a microwave doesn't count). Does he pay any bills e.g. mobile phone ? Does he buy stuff like clothes himself out of an allowance or is it all "bank of mum & dad".

Those are some basics he'll need wherever he goes.

Abraxaz1 · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:51

He needs to grow up fast,

Send him to the furthest one away but keep in contact, sink or swim.

ivrytwr3 · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:53

peterwalkley said:
Can he work a washing machine, cook a meal for himself (bunging something into a microwave doesn't count). Does he pay any bills e.g. mobile phone ? Does he buy stuff like clothes himself out of an allowance or is it all "bank of mum & dad".

Those are some basics he'll need wherever he goes.

No and it boils my **** that he's still mothered to death.

firstborn · 5 Feb 2022 at 09:57

SPG said:
Tell him to find a apprentice ship or graduate scheme instead.

Such a ridiculous post on a number of levels.

Visit all unis, speak to staff and students in the school/dept. for thier view. Try to get direct contact details of the academic responsible for admissions for future questions.

Rule out anywhere that doesn't have academic staff present during the visit. Rule out anywhere that doesn't respond to questions emailed to a person.

Then, if courses are of a similar standing choose based on experience of visit and gut feeling as you 'walk in the door' as it's home for a number of years.

And based on your summary of him - gap year and gain some life experience first. He'll be far more mature/prepped and likely to do better.

ivrytwr3 · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:08

firstborn said:
And based on your summary of him - gap year and gain some life experience first. He'll be far more mature/prepped and likely to do better.

That's interesting, but my worry with that is, he is in the learning mode now and if takes a gap year, he may meet someone, get a job and like the feel of money now etc and potentially limit his future earning potential - basically there is a worry by taking a gap year, he may not go to Uni at all.

I don't think that's an option now anyway, he is getting his offers and is keen to go. I guess i need to step up and sort out basic life skills

Bassmansam · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:25

@ivrytwr3 Why have you allowed him to be so mothered? It will be a big shock to him when he has to face the world alone.

dlockers · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:35

Warwick is a nice gentle uni. He should do well if he's a tad on the coddled side. It's also very well respected.

Bassmansam said:
@ivrytwr3 Why have you allowed him to be so mothered? It will be a big shock to him when he has to face the world alone.

Bore off

ivrytwr3 · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:41

Bassmansam said:
@ivrytwr3 Why have you allowed him to be so mothered? It will be a big shock to him when he has to face the world alone.

He's a good kid getting great grades with offers to great Uni's - and you're questioning the parent skills?

Meh - he gets his meals made for him, clothes washed and ironed - he does have his own bank account which he pays for stuff himself. Due to covid, he missed out on work experience and other social activities, much like most other kids at that age.

ivrytwr3 · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:43

dLockers said:
Warwick is a nice gentle uni. He should do well if he's a tad on the coddled side. It's also very well respected.

That's good to hear - thanks.

dlockers · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:44

I wouldn't worry about mum washing clothes etc. A lot of Chinese students would have legit slaves back home; everyone is in a differing stage of culture shock. They'll soon figure it out and lol on the days of not showering and eating super noodles 3 meals a day.

ahar · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:46

Warwick is a campus Uni, he might like that given what you've said.

Also Warwick has a better rep with employers than UEA and Kent

throwaway4372 · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:47

I'd rule out Kent and pick either Warwick or UEA. Probably doesn't matter which tbh.

I can recommend a small campus, less hectic, easy to make friends, cheaper living costs. Mine was the first place I visited, it just felt right, didn't visit or apply anywhere else, but there was no doubt about getting in.

There was a decent canteen on-site, so I mostly just ate there. Laundrette on-site too. Everyone was a life skills noob at first, but people learn the basics because they have to, and they learn to ask each other for help if needed, everyone's in the same boat.

Mum needs to adjust to the new normal. I made a point to ghost mine quite a lot to force her to back off, don't reply to her messages timely, don't let her visit regularly. 1 visit per term max, and probably holidays. IMO it's better for everyone this way.

The main thing about uni now is the cost is crazy. I left with about 12k debt and paid it off pretty quickly. I probably wouldn't go to uni at today's prices (computer science), but I imagine there no way around it for Law.

The trick for a kid to succeed is to treat uni like a full time job. Get up at a decent time. Start work when it's assigned rather than leaving it to the last minute. Going out out is important, but keep it to weekends or student nights. Have a ton of 'fun'. Imagine Mr Miyagi banging on about life balance.

Bassmansam · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:48

ivrytwr3 said:
He's a good kid getting great grades with offers to great Uni's - and you're questioning the parent skills?

Meh - he gets his meals made for him, clothes washed and ironed - he does have his own bank account which he pays for stuff himself. Due to covid, he missed out on work experience and other social activities, much like most other kids at that age.

Well you did say your annoyed that he is mothered so much , so thats why i asked.

Lethal` · 5 Feb 2022 at 10:48

Where does he want to go?

I went to Kent. Have to say I enjoyed it. Canterbury's a nice little city with plenty to do, the campus is nice and has all you need on it but the city is only 20-30mins walk. Quick to get to London and you can enjoy weekend day trips to the surrounding coastline with the likes of Whitstable.