No, I didn't.
Whose baby is it ?
- Thread starter mame
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No, I didn't.
That's how it appeared. Let me quote it here...
As I am one of those "none of your business" people, I replied to your question, "what about domestic violence? Is that nobody else's business too?"
At the risk of repeating myself, my answer to this was that domestic violence is different to what we are discussing in this thread because it is illegal. Having sex with someone other than your partner, however, is not illegal.
As you say, you need to draw a line between what is and what isn't someone else's business. Unless the law has been broken - which we're all agreed upon hasn't happened in this case - then I don't think it's any of my (or anyone else who has posted in this thread... including the OP) business what this woman has allegedly done.
That's not to say that I agree with her being unfaithful, if she really has been. I just don't consider it being any of my concern, or that I am in any position to judge her.
I say post it anon. to the fiancee. Then you can let him decide what to do with it before he marry's/has kids with someone who sleeps with 3 people at a time. If you do it carefully, you can make sure nothing blows back onto you, but still give the guy the facts before he starts a life with this woman who he has so clearly mis judged as being a faithful, decent woman.
Do it, think about if a woman did that too you, some people have said not your place those are the tipical individuals that have no social responsibility.
How would you feel that someone knew and never told you? pretty sick i would think wait a week or two then post it.
How would you feel that someone knew and never told you? pretty sick i would think wait a week or two then post it.
Soldato
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if that ends up being the case is it a problem that the op tells? if all it is is just flirty emails then no harm surely the guy will see this and think it's ok? if he doesn't like it and leaves again whats the harm? he didn't get a gun, point it to the guys head and say LEAVE HER. it's his own choice what he wants to do once he knows the truth.
also even if i didn't read what the op said so what? i was commenting on the whole "it's none of your business, leave them alone" nonsense. How can you give advice and then go against it whilst giving it was my point.
It's as stupid as me saying "every stop talking, stop talking everyone, stop talking ok, no one talk. don't talk, not a word comes out of anyone's mouth, don't say a word" etc etc. i tell everyone to stop talking but talk whilst giving the advice. it doesn't work.
Everyone who has posted in this thread giving advice to the op is getting involved in someone elses business. If you truly believe that you shouldn't get involved in someone elses business, then don't!
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True, but with one major difference. The OP started the thread looking for advice, ergo he invited people to offer their opinions on the situation. The two strangers he's talking about didn't ask for anyone to get involved in their private lives.
Well said, Richdog.
See Richdog's post above - there is a huge difference between someone physically attacking another person and someone being unfaithful.... in layman's terms, one is illegal and one is immoral.
One both are immoral, and that depends, and it only illegal because the law says it is, for me both are illegal.
You can bend that to say the guy didnt invite two other stangers to get involved by banging her did he?
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Soldato
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so it actually is ok to get involved with someone elses business yes? but only as long as they ask for it? if they didn't ask for it then don't give it?
Exactly, and in this case the guy doesn't even know the people involved and as such they couldn't have asked him to get involved. So why does he feel the need to possibly wreck someone's relationship over something that may, or may not, be true.
Oh dear me, have i hit a nerve.
Not really I just find it incredibly weird that you seem to think you are able to decide what is illegal :/
illegal doesnt mean it's bad does it.
Soldato
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whats weird about it? he has a brain, done. what else does he need to make up an opinion? in HIS OPINION (obviously) he would say it's illegal to cheat.
IMO it legal for same sex marriage, it's not in america though. I have nothing atm that can do anything about that but thats still my opinion just as it is his.
It means it's against the law. You just said that being unfaithful is against the law. which it isn't.
If you can arbitrarily make up laws why can;t the rest of us?
I think you need to read up about legal and illegal, v moral and immoral, theres a big difference.
For one you have personnal laws, human laws, social laws and government laws.
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wtf do opinions have to do with law
There's no law in this country saying you can't commit adultery, hence it is not illegal.
You can't just randomly brand things as illegal. it's not how the legal system works.
Soldato
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i don't think i have seen one single comment in this thread saying if their other half was cheating that they wouldn't want to know. the method of finding out may be debated but not one person (correct me if wrong please) has said they wouldn't want to know though.So going off that, the person being cheated on actually wants to know if she was cheating. He may not have asked in face but it is a general thought that he'd want to know, just as if he was going to walk into the road when a van was coming, he wouldn't have to ask for help and 99/100 times he'd want that help. you may say hit by a van is life or death etc, but then this could change the guys life completely and could kill the life he currently has so is almost the same worth. and after all people have felt it ok to get invovled in the op's life just from a tiny thread so i'm sure that something as big as finding out the other half has cheated (possibly) is justifiable?
There is a massive chance the guy will want to know, with as far as i can see the only reason not to tel is it's not his business but then as you have said it's actually ok to stick your nose in someone elses business if they have asked for it, so the op should say.
if thats not ok what if the op asks the guy if he'd want to know if someone cheated on him, thengo from there? if the guy says no, that he thinks ignorance is bliss etc, no harm done. if the guy says yes i'd want to know, again no harm done. the guy then has asked for heklp and will get it.
would that be ok then with ocuk?
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