Why aren't beards more popular?

Beards have been scientifically proven to increase penis size and improve stamina during intercourse.....that's partly to do with the fact that scientist could find no other reason for men to have one.
 
I find that using conditioner on my beard when it gets itchy softens the hair a bit and makes it less irritating.
 
I only shave because I have to look smart for work - else I'd be stubbly all the time, love having facial hair. Then again it grows in about 2 mins flat after shaving anyway!

I think they're not popular because a lot of men can't grow a beard, but also it's just the fashion/era that we live in at the moment - they seem to be unpopular.
 
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