Why is blame always wrongfully placed?

sarutobi

sarutobi

sarutobi

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Just seen on the news about the Madeleine sitatuion in Portugal. Seems some people feel its right to put the blame on the parents for leaving the child alone. Why is this their fault? For one thing parents do it all the time, this isnt neglect this is just giving the child a little bit of independance, even though you can still keep a good eye on them. Another thing is, is blaming them going to help the sitatuion or make them feel any better about a tragic miskate they made? I doubt it. Its bang out of order.

THE ONLY PERSON TO BLAME IS THE KIDNAPPER!

This isnt the only wrongfully placed blame though. It happens all the time. Virginia Tech massacre - video games. Columbine massacre - marilyn manson. I mean come on. We know now that Seung-Hui Cho didnt have any video games but still lets say that he did. Could a video game somehow force him to pick up a gun walk into his school and start pulling the trigger? Did Marilyn Manson show up at the Columbine boys doors and make them kill all those people?

Why does society continually attempt to scapegoat? The only people to blame are the people who commit the crimes, not their video games, not their movies and not their music. :mad:
 
Im sorry but going on holiday and then leaving your kids in a strange place, i certainly wouldnt do that! plus there was a creche service within the hotel/apartment block, Why didnt the parents use that if they were going to be busy?

Yes the kidnapper is to blame and should be hung by his balls, but the parents left their kids in a strange place, ok it was a hotel facility, but this is the modern world, people need to be careful.
 
Protoman said:
For one thing parents do it all the time, this isnt neglect this is just giving the child a little bit of independance, even though you can still keep a good eye on them.
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Independance at what 3? Yeah right, it's neglect and obviously they was not keeping a good eye on them otherwise the poor kid would still be with them.

In a sense I agree the kidnapper is the bad guy, but I feel they have been tip toeing around the issue of what the parents where actually thinking. Sure you cant watch your kids 24/7 but they went off enjoying themselves leaving a 3 year old basically homealone. They went out for dinner.

If it was a chavy family the papers would already have destroyed them.

Poor kid. :(
 
because mental no long exists, no one is considered mental, something out of t :rolleyes: here controll must have made them do i and as such they are not to blame.
 
Protoman said:
Why does society continually attempt to scapegoat? The only people to blame are the people who commit the crimes, not their video games, not their movies and not their music. :mad:
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Becuase some people who commit crimes don't randomly think them up by themselves - they are often influenced.
 
[TW]Fox said:
Becuase some people who commit crimes don't randomly think them up by themselves - they are often influenced.
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yeh but the movie/cd/game dosnt MAKE them do it. If that were the case then you could blame everyone they ever met, every book they ever read, blame ever single aspect of their life up to that point.
 
Protoman said:
yeh but the movie/cd/game dosnt MAKE them do it. If that were the case then you could blame everyone they ever met, every book they ever read, blame ever single aspect of their life up to that point.
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Although everything has an influence on who you become in life, there are certain things that influence you more than others.
 
Stiff_Cookie said:
Although everything has an influence on who you become in life, there are certain things that influence you more than others.
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does that make them the ones to blame for your actions though?
 
Im sorry but if this was a single mother from inner city Manchester or somewhere "deprived" then everyone would be pointing the finger and saying it was their fault. Just because they're middle class doctors nobody has dared say anything bad about them. It doesnt add up, if they were checking them every half an hour then why was it that the Dad saw them asleep at nine and then when the mum checked on them at 10 the little girl was gone. But thats besides the point, there are just no circumstances whatsoever that a 3 year old should be left on their own in a room anywhere (plus there were the 2 year old twins)

It doesnt matter if they were just across the road, they had more than likely done the same thing for every night of their holiday so far, and so someone had sussed this and was watching.

That doesnt excuse some freak coming along and taking her, but im sorry I just wouldnt leave my kids on their own at that age even if it was in my own home.
 
In hindsight, perhaps they should not have left her at the hotel. But parents cannot be by their kids sides 24/7. My parents lost me at Newquay. They literally looked away and I was gone. I had to be rescued by a lifeguard from the incoming tide! :eek:

Anyway, to answer the OP, people always blame who they think they can get away with blaming - just look at work, the "little guys" always take the fall when management **** up.

Human nature :rolleyes:
 
Have to agree with the original poster.

Children are left alone for longer periods than these people were, it isnt a stupid assumption to assume they were ok for 30 mins while sleeping.

Kidnappings take a matter of seconds, it wouldnt have mattered if they had nipped in the bath or downstairs for fresh linen, the kidnapper is determined to get someone and they do.

It is one person and one person only who is top blame and thats the freak who is out baby snatching.

This country/world seems to always need someone to blame, then they pick on anyone the media points them towards.

There also seems to be no such as an "accident" there is always someone to blame or always someone to sue for the problem.

A world gone mad indeed.
 
knip said:
...they had more than likely done the same thing for every night of their holiday so far, and so someone had sussed this and was watching.
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That's a worrying thought actually.
 
Protoman said:
does that make them the ones to blame for your actions though?
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IMO, you cant say games are to blame for everyone who goes on a shooting spree. You cant say parents are to blame for bad kids. There are always going to be a lot of factors involved. Blame CAN be shared

In the case of the missing girl there are variables involved that could not be changed by the parents. The kidnapper is going to be a kidnapper whether or not the parents like it or not. Thier child wouldnt have been kidnaped if there was an adult in the room or if the child was with them. Does it make them BAD parents, not IMO, just parents that made a very bad decision, something that humans are very good at.
 
I've been on several Mark Warner resorts and they are generally extremely safe places. I don't think what her parents did was wrong at all. It's a safe environment, or at least it seems that way.
 
The bottom line is that the children should not have been left alone. They were very young. The parents were 30 yards away. Wrong. It does not matter that they were doctors. That has nothing to do with it. Any parent in their right mind would not leave their young children on their own. What was wrong with keeping them with them????. This world we live in is full of people who want to do harm to others. You must do all you can do to protect those who are most susceptible to harm...
 
We have been conditioned to try and explain away the blame...Sickos are no longer sickos and they must be helped...They cannot be blamed...So we have to look elsewhere.
 
Stiff Cookie, You are absolutley right, we all make bad decisions and my heart goes out to the parents. I think when bad things happen we all assume that it will never happen to us. I'm sure there are many more tragedies like this which happen all over the world that never get reported. We have all become far to sensitised to it all.. Changing the subject slightly, for all those people who travel on the tube in london, how many are aware of their surroundings.....very few i would imagine. although the threat is still their.
 
I'm scared to leave my car in certain places and it's not even expensive.

How they could leave a 3 year-old alone for even 30 minute periods (if that's true) is beyond me.

Did they not lock the apartment.

That, said blame should firmly end at the kidnappers feet.
 
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