Mate the worst thing you can do is dwell on it all, I have lost some good friends to motorbikes, but one that I will never forget is one of my best mates, we were on route to the ring he was on a GXR 600 I was following in my car, on one of the sharp bends on route he lost it and wrapped his body around a crash barrier, I got there about 4 minutes after the accident, I thought he was dead, no movement body parts in places they shouldn’t, there was already a couple of people round him, I got out and ran to him, he was alive just, I kept him awake until an ambulance arrived then he went into full unconsciousness.
I followed the ambulance to Koln Hospital, he stayed in intensive care for 4 days, his parents were told not to bother coming over as the worst was to be expected, in the end he pulled through.
Arrangements were already in place to get his body back to UK, but on the fourth day he came round, he stayed in IC for another 2 weeks to piece his body back together, broke both femurs smashed an arm, crushed both lungs and loads of other stuff,
He asked me the same question when I went to visit and its one you will never find the answer to, oh and we cried laughing afterwards as well, no reason just happy I think, the Germans thought we were a bit mad.