Worst chat up lines you have ever heard

Lou · 8 Sep 2011 at 22:49

As I said in my last thread, I'm sorry if this one has been done, I'm kind of new (though I've done a search and can't find any on this topic).

I am intrigued to see what people come out with because I very rarely read a thread here without laughing.

Someone I know actually had to listen to someone say to her:

"I wish you were a door so I could bang you all night"

One of the worst I think I've heard!

Give me your worst!

grudas · 8 Sep 2011 at 22:52

"Hey lol"

Ahleckz · 8 Sep 2011 at 22:53

I usually spill my drink down them, and then put my tongue down their throat. It works, sometimes.

Judgeneo · 8 Sep 2011 at 22:55

Ahleckz said:
I usually spill my drink down them, and then put my tongue down their throat. It works, sometimes.

Forward, for a woman. Jail for a man.

Best I've heard would be:

"You may not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is just a light switch away"

DefiantAsh · 8 Sep 2011 at 22:58

"I lika you, i lika sex, iz niceeee!!!"

JonnyT · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:00

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven"

Cosimo · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:00

"It's a nice car, get in the back"

TheCenturion · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:00

'Nice clothes, they'd look better on my bedroom floor'

'I wish I was your derivative so that I could lie tangent to your curves'

'Is that a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants?'

RopAyy · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:01

One thats actually worked for me 'What do fat penguins do? ... break the ice' Conversation right there. (i know not all that comical, ive had slaps and drinks thrown at me for using some of the classics. 'Fancy a drink? Good, now bugger off while i talk to your mate.'
Been newly single again i can see these making a come back!

Guy at work had one drunk and never got it to work, Walks up to said victim, places hand on ass then says "you have something on your ass..." "me!" funny end results!

Pudney · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:02

Giggity.

Judgeneo · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:04

TheCenturion said:
'I wish I was your derivative so that I could lie tangent to your curves'

I wish I was your second derivative so I could investigate your concavities

Lou · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:04

JonnyT said:
"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven"

Ha! My favourite so far!

topgun06 · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:06

knowledge123 said:
I want to cover you in thermal paste and overclock you till you BSOD ?

Samueltastic · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:06

Get your coat love, you've pulled.

[FnG]magnolia · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:07

"Let's not turn this rape in to a murder"

RopAyy · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:10

9 out of 10 people love gang rape, which one would you like to be?

[TW]Taggart · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:13

(after putting up a tent) "well thats the fastest erection ive ever had"

we're still together 9 years later

Begbie · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:14

"You're lucky I like fat women"

"How much for an hour?"

Both of them never pulled that night.

DefiantAsh · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:15

[TW]Taggart;20027169 said:
(after putting up a tent) "well thats the fastest erection ive ever had"

we're still together 9 years later

You got an erection for putting up a tent :confused:

Cybermyk · 8 Sep 2011 at 23:16

Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?

or

Are those real?