Would you take your wife's name?

[Jean-F]

My first marriage was so far back in prehistoric times, that the very idea of taking the wife’s name hadn’t been thought of.
My second, (and definitely last), was in 1994, and I can truthfully say that the idea of my taking her name never came up, but if it had, I would have vetoed it, not because I thought mine was more important, but because taking the husband’s name was the “done thing”, but as I said, the thought didn’t occur to either of us.
I’m ambivalent about double barrelled names, but as a blue collar guy, I wouldn’t entertain the idea, they seem more associated with the aristocracy, or wannabe aristocracy.
On that subject, how is it decided which name goes first in a double barrelled situation?
If John Smith married Mary Jones, and he suggested that they become Mr. and Mrs. Smith-Jones, isn’t he saying, “My name is more important than yours?”
Or, (one for the feminists), is the male name considered to take precedence?

 

[krooton]

We've made a new surname combining aspects of our original ones, I've already done the deed poll aspect of it.

 

[chroniclard]

Wife kept her name, mostly professional reasons. Not fussed.

 

[Whitewater]

We kept it traditional but I don’t think it really matters.

 

[AHarvey]

Wife kept her name, mostly professional reasons. Not fussed.

Yeah it takes a long time to build up a strippers fan base j/k

 

[FishFluff]

I took my wife's name when we got married in September, AMA

 

[chroniclard]

Yeah it takes a long time to build up a strippers fan base j/k

There is actually a porn star with the same name.

 

[Ayahuasca]

I took my wife's name when we got married in September, AMA

What a beta, in fact no, what an omega you are, why would any self-respecting man do that, smh.

 

[Sankari]

Would you take your wife's name?

Not if it was dowie.

I was willing to hyphenate our names (which would have given us a triple barrel surname) but she preferred to take mine.

 

[HoneyBadger]

No.

 

[nitram100]

No

 

[explicit4u]

Nowhere near having to worry about that, but yeah I'd take her name or figure out something that sounds decent. Not fussed if she doesn't want mine either.

 

[ron3003]

Not if it was dowie.

I was willing to hyphenate our names (which would have given us a triple barrel surname) but she preferred to take mine.

Sheep have Surnames? (Oz joke,no offense )

 

[Sankari]

Sheep have Surnames? (Oz joke,no offense )

That's a NZ joke.

 

[TNGL]

Nope, my wife will take my surname or, more commonly in my culture, my first name. Unless of course, she's made a name for herself and it makes more sense for her to keep her name. In any case, I would not take my wife's name.

 

[dowie]

I like the American way of adding names. Not double-barrelling them. Like Hilary Rodham became Hilary Rodham Clinton.

I guess if the wife want's to keep theirs in some way then that is perhaps a good solution

Same problems:

1) 2 names in the 1st generation. 4 names in the 2nd generation. 8 names in the 3rd generation. 16 names in the 4th generation. 32 names in the 5th generation......19 generations later and people have over a million family names. 19 generations is only a few hundred years and even by the 3rd generation (i.e. less than one lifetime) it becomes impractical. "Hello, my name is John Rodham Clinton Lee Williams Hernandez Johnson Williamson Delgardo...and this is my daughter Christina Rodham Clinton Lee Williams Hernandez Johnson Williamson Delgardo Smith Florencio Cooper Adams Rossi Giordano Smith Baxter."

2) Which family takes priority? Since there is a priority, the same problem still exists (albeit to a lesser extent).

well no, with a double barrelled name you have that issue, whereas if the wife maintains her surname as a middle name you don't, she's just made her surname a middle name, those don't all get inherited unless perhaps one gets selected... their daughter's surname is "Clinton"

 

[dowie]

Not if it was dowie.

I was willing to hyphenate our names (which would have given us a triple barrel surname) but she preferred to take mine.

Did you already have a double barrelled surname or were you just saying you were happy to take her double barrelled name and since that would be a bit ridiculous you knew she'd say no but you still get credit for being willing to?

 

[dowie]

Yes and yes. Nearly did but went for double-barrelled surname. Nothing to do with pretentious, almost entirely to do with academic rankings etc.

Eh? How does that work - surely you've still changed your name if you double barrel it? I know quite a few women who still use their maiden name in a professional or academic setting but have actually changed there name for day to day use.

 

[Burnsy2023]

I would be open to discussing it. I have my own reasons why I'd like to keep and ideally pass on my surname, but like anything, I'm open to an honest conversation with the possibility of being talked around.

 

[Amnesia]

She kept her name and i kept mine, i like that she is different to me