"X walked into a bar" joke thread

[GingerNinja1989]

A cat walks into a bar.

Schrodinger does not serve him.

Schrodinger does serve him.

My coffee is now all over my monitor. Thanks for that.

 

[DoneADougalOnSofa]

A wig and a torso walk into a bar.

The barman says,
"Sorry guys, I can't serve you. He's off his head and you're legless."

 

[Nanoman]

A cat walks into a bar.

Schrodinger does not serve him.

Schrodinger does serve him.

Winner! haha

 

[FBi7]

**Googles Schrodinger**

Mind = blown! But I think I get the joke

 

[Delvis]

Horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'

Sarah Jessica Parker walks in to a bar.
The barman says: "Why the long face?"

Fnar

 

[FluffySheep]

a small piece of red tarmac with a pushbike on his head walks into a bar. A piece of M25 and a piece of Heathrow runway that have been drinking in the bar a while try hiding. The barman asks them why there hiding as they are bigger and harder than the red tarmac, to which they reply 'hell no, that guy over there is a cyclepath!'

 

[sunnysingh]

A neutron walks into a bar. "I'd like a beer" he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
"How much will that be?" asks the neutron.
"For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge"

I bet you heard that from the big bang theory.

 

[elmuzzy66.]

A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.

bahv that you?

 

[Amp34]

a small piece of red tarmac with a pushbike on his head walks into a bar. A piece of M25 and a piece of Heathrow runway that have been drinking in the bar a while try hiding. The barman asks them why there hiding as they are bigger and harder than the red tarmac, to which they reply 'hell no, that guy over there is a cyclepath!'

It must be something in the delivery...

 

[Destination]

A man walks into a bar and is immediately set upon by his wife who attacks him visciously.
'Why did you &^%$ my sister?' she screams
'Well, when i got to work she was waiting there for me, sretched over the table, completely naked, what else would I do?'
'The autopsy' she replies.

 

[Drunkenmassacre]

It must be something in the delivery...

cyclepath said as psycopath

 

[Amp34]

cyclepath said as psycopath

I know what the punchline is it was just rather long winded and slow in written form (or at least that written form).

 

[Angilion]

X walks into a bar and the bar man says "hey, you look a little cross.."

That deserves a round of applause and a

 

[Psymonkee]

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

 

[Angilion]

A cat walks into a bar.

Schrodinger does not serve him.

Schrodinger does serve him.

That's the funniest joke I've seen this year. It's a shame that I only know 1 or 2 people who'd get it.

 

[Merlin5]

A room-temperature superconductor walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve superconductors here", so the room-temperature superconductor leaves without any resistance.
.

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve bacteria here". The bacteria reply "But we work here, we're staph".

Woodpecker walks into a bar. He asks "Is the bartender here?"

 

[Nitefly]

X walks into a bar.

"WHYYYYYY?!"

"NO DAMMIT I'M X"

See I thought this was an awesome joke considering the OP and as nobody else liked it you all have terrible senses of humour.

*goes off for a crank*

 

[Morgoth]

A man walks into a bar, he is alcoholic and it's killing his family.

 

[Redz]

A man walks into a bar wearing Gucci dog tags.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

A man walks into a bar, he is alcoholic and it's killing his family.

Haha! Did he die of liver failure, leaving behind an adoring but broken family?