Your favourite quotes

[Anksy]

Bad Boys ''Now step back, put the gun down, and pass me some fruit bubbleishes, And some skittles''

Rush Hour 3 its not a quote but i love this bit

Detective James Carter Walks into a Karate class in china,

Dojo Master: May I Help You?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Dojo Master: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No not me you!
Dojo Master: Yes I'm Yu!
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Dojo Master: No Yu is blind!
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind, you blind
Dojo Master: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Dojo Master: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you!
Dojo Master: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shutup!
Detective James Carter: You!
Dojo Master: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not You, Him! What's Your name?
Dojo Student: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes You!
Dojo Student: I'm Mi.
Dojo Master: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!

 

[Vonhelmet]

Rush Hour 3 its not a quote but i love this bit

Dojo Master: May I Help You?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Dojo Master: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No not me you!
Dojo Master: Yes I'm Yu!
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Dojo Master: No Yu is blind!
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind, you blind
Dojo Master: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Dojo Master: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you!
Dojo Master: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shutup!
Detective James Carter: You!
Dojo Master: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not You, Him! What's Your name?
Dojo Student: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes You!
Dojo Student: I'm Mi.
Dojo Master: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!

Who's on first?

 

[Anksy]

what do you mean

 

[Conscript]

Bad Boys 2 ''Now step back, put the gun down, and pass me some fruit bubbleishes, And some skittles''

It's from the original Bad Boys, not the sequel. "Freeeeeze mother biatcheeeess!"

And its Fruit Bubbalicious

/pedant.

 

[Anksy]

It's from the original Bad Boys, not the sequel.

Yer it is bum

 

[Anksy]

xXx
''Dude, you have a bazooka. Stop thinking Prague Police and start thinking Playstation. Blow **** up! ''

 

[Flibster]

A few from my email sig randomiser....

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I could dance with you till the cows come home...But I would rather dance with the cows till you come home.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.

The world is like a ride in an amusement park and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and around and around and it has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud. And it's fun - for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question; is this real? Or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, and they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because... this is just a ride."

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a ****ing cross? It's kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a little sniper rifle pendant. "Hey Jackie, just thinking of John."

How about a positive LSD story, that would be newsworthy. Don't you think? Anybody think that? Just once, to hear a positive LSD story. "Today, a young man on acid, realised that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves... here's Tom with the weather."

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight, guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Thank you, thank you. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day they'll take root, I don't know. You try. You do what you can. Kill yourselves. Seriously though, if you are, do. No really, there's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, OK? Kill yourselves, seriously. You're the ruiner of all things good. Seriously, no, this is not a joke. "There's gonna be a joke coming..." There's no ****ing joke coming - you are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage, you are ****ed and you are ****ing us, kill yourselves, it's the only way to save your ****ing soul. Kill yourself.

I love talking about the Warren Commission, I love talking about the Kennedy assasination as well. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say, "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it." I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here, you know.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

So many more though...

 

[Vonhelmet]

what do you mean

That scene, and countless others like it, is just a reworking of an old sketch in which a name sounds like something else, with hilarious consequences. One of the best known examples is an Abbott and Costello routine about baseball players, including a player called Who on first base e.g.

Q: Who's on first?
A: Yes.

Hilarity ensues.

 

[Monkey Puzzle]

I was on this one flight right, I'm flying, I'm sleeping on the plane, I'm ******* "knackered". Very tired right and I feel this tapping on my head. And I look up and there's this little kid - loose! on the ******* plane, he's just loose. It's his playground in the sky. And he has decided that his job is to repetitively tap me on the top of the head.
I look across the aisle at his mom. She's just smiling, you know.
Guy next to the mom goes, "They're so cute when they're that small."
Isn't that amazing, letting your kid run loose on a ******* plane. And then the kid runs over to the emergency exit and he starts flipping that handle to the door. And the guy next to the mom starts to get up, and I go, "Wait a minute... we're about to learn an important lesson right here."
Kwoooshh.
Why you're right, the smaller he gets, the cuter he is.
God, I wish I had a camera right now.
With a telescopic lens.
Like to get a picture of his face when his pudgy little legs hit that farmhouse down there.

 

[Apopcalyptic]

"The strength of our future lies in our past"

 

[MarcLister]

A few from my email sig randomiser....

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.

I like this one. Got that quote on a poster I got from the Imperial War Museum in London, where I also saw that Plato quote.

Only the dead have seen the end of war

 

[Nullvoid]

"If you know your own worth, what need you care about the acceptance or rejection of others?"
Hakim Sanai.

"The paths of glory lead but to the grave."
Thomas Gray.

 

[Tefal]

Be quiet, dumbass.

</irony>

 

[V|per]

i pwn n00bs! - jeremy, pure pwnage

pfft, at least get a decent one...

(I was searching for the word 'pwnage' incase i was about to re-post something, but alas, i found this thread and thought it deserved the following)

Lotsa people they write the show, and they're like 'Jeremy! are you like a.. Nintedo guy? you like sony? or you just like, pc? or are ya this an that? an it's kinda wierd cos... i guess i'm like.. kinda all of 'em...... Cos, to be honest i'm, i'm a fan of any machine that connects me to n00bs an lets me pwn them

Oh yeah, another classic from the same person:

'You remind me of ghey'

 

[Mr.Clark]

I love talking about the Warren Commission, I love talking about the Kennedy assasination as well. The reason I do is because I'm fascinated by it. I'm fascinated that our government could lie to us so blatantly, so obviously for so long, and we do absolutely nothing about it. I think that's interesting in what is ostensibly a democracy. Sarcasm - come on in. People say, "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man. It was a long time ago, just let it go, alright? It's a long time ago, just forget it." I'm like, alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking shelf life here, you know.

Bwahahaha!

 

[EddScott]

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those ... moments will be lost in time, like tears...in rain. Time to die. - Roy Batty, Bladerunner

Seconded. Glad I searched first

 

[RobH]

From a random YouTube video: "If I have to see anymore crap like this on youtube, I'm gonna stop believing in evolution! "

 

[Kristoph]

"Dear diary, JACKPOT."

 

[Van Hellseek]

Greenlizard0 : "Where do I use Debenhams vouchers?"

 

[KizZ]

I thought we should have another one of these threads. They make an interesting read.

Here's mine:

"We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam." - Carl Sagan

OMG. Mine is from Carl Sagan too.

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe".