Relationship has come to an end

Adam said:
Seriously you need to cut her out. Makes it so much harder trying to be friends and carrying on like normal. Get her out of your life and you can move on.
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agree with this guy. Otherwise its just like a knife someone has left in your guts and every so often they move it/push it deeper : and **** up your insides even more.

Thats how it was for me. Bayonet in stomach.
For her it was a penknife.... easily taken out and moved on to the next one........despite her apparent "emotions" about it.

and no offence to the OP but better get separate rooms. She WILL be seeing someone else pretty fast imho.....

Welcome to the human race. the only good news i can give you is that once youve been stabbed once it dont hurt so much as the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th ,6th time.
 
JodieG said:
It sounds to me as if you both still have strong feelings for each other. If there was nothing essentially wrong between the two of you then it could be worth working on your relationship if you want to try again. There are lots of ways to be closer and more intimate and to bring all the affection back and it usually isn't difficult.

All relationships can get stale after a while so you need to keep working at it and keeping things alive. I find there are ups and downs but when you really love each other the downs don't matter so much and you get through them together.

If you really do just want to split and stay apart then living together isn't going to work, one of you will find someone else at some point and the other will be hurt I would think and it will make the whole thing uncomfortable.
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THIS: Trust a woman to talk some sense;)
 
Well atleast with us, we did'nt live together at the time.

I certainly do think that you cant be under the same roof really and still be friends.
 
JodieG said:
It sounds to me as if you both still have strong feelings for each other. If there was nothing essentially wrong between the two of you then it could be worth working on your relationship if you want to try again. There are lots of ways to be closer and more intimate and to bring all the affection back and it usually isn't difficult.

All relationships can get stale after a while so you need to keep working at it and keeping things alive. I find there are ups and downs but when you really love each other the downs don't matter so much and you get through them together.

If you really do just want to split and stay apart then living together isn't going to work, one of you will find someone else at some point and the other will be hurt I would think and it will make the whole thing uncomfortable.
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Agreed with the exception of living together. Imo that is possible (although very very difficult) but staying in the same bed will be virtually impossible. If you decide to stay split up, for both your sanities you need seperate space.
 
Kell_ee001 said:
Agreed with the exception of living together. Imo that is possible (although very very difficult) but staying in the same bed will be virtually impossible. If you decide to stay split up, for both your sanities you need seperate space.
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I think in the long term it wouldn't work though as one person will always move on before the other one and that would make things difficult all round. I suppose it would depend a lot on the people involved as well though so maybe it could work. If either party still had feelings for the other it would be even harder and for their own sake I wouldn't suggest living together as it will be like reopening the wound all the time. I think I'm saying I agree and disagree hehe :p I can see both sides :)
 
it does sound as if the relationship is there to be saved if you wanted to however i totally agree with everyone here that you cannot share the same bed as her it will prove to be impossible
 
Random_23 said:
I aint a no hoper son. I have a GF a full time job (posting from work) My own house etc etc want me to go on ? He's only sharing his feelings. He may struggle to speak to others about such things and doing it to strangers on the internet might be his way of getting it off his chest.

regarding you section8 you my friend are a Loser! If you have nothing nice to post dont post on the thread ?
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I was being sarcastic, i forgot the :p
 
JodieG said:
It sounds to me as if you both still have strong feelings for each other. If there was nothing essentially wrong between the two of you then it could be worth working on your relationship if you want to try again. There are lots of ways to be closer and more intimate and to bring all the affection back and it usually isn't difficult.

All relationships can get stale after a while so you need to keep working at it and keeping things alive. I find there are ups and downs but when you really love each other the downs don't matter so much and you get through them together.

If you really do just want to split and stay apart then living together isn't going to work, one of you will find someone else at some point and the other will be hurt I would think and it will make the whole thing uncomfortable.
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First bit of sensible advice! Couldn't agree more
 
Droolinggimp said:
Sorry to bother you with a morbid post here but I have to get this out in the open.

This is, iirc my first 'relationship' thread. So its all new to me:).

Any how. Last night, myself and my missus had a heart to heart discussion on the current state of our relationship. Over the last 6 months it has been nothing more than passing each other on the stairs so to speak. Her long hours and traveling and my random days and hours I do at work have all contributed to the decline.

It seems as though we have been best mates for the best part of this year and not partners. Not a bad thing in my eyes but the only thing missing to make it a 'partnership' was the physical side of things. She had grown out of it due to the long days and being tired when she gets in from work and also my tiredness too. This is one of the main problems that I realised a few months ago.

There was not affection or romance. Both our faults really not just one of us.

So there we was sitting in the dinning room pouring out tears. Snotting everywhere and blabbing some crap thats neither of us could understand.

In the end after we calmed down we decided to call it a day on our relationship. We will remain friends, as that is how its been for 6 months. Still live together. Sleep in same bed. Share bills, basicly nothing will change apart from our status - Single.

We have talked about the old "what about if I/you find someone else". She isnt interested in anyone as she has a lot of Uni work and her general work life to sort out before thinking of anyone else. Me, pretty much the same as her minus the Uni..

We are part of each others lives and will remain that way. Its all good for us both and I hope you can see it that way too.

Thank you for reading.

:)
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Sorry to hear about the bad news mate. Some advice and thoughts for you. Considering that you've gone to the trouble to share your feelings with a community of strangers, I think this speaks Volumes about your disappointment and shows that you still have feelings for her.

The arrangement that you have agreed on is a lazy one tbh. One of you has to be strong and make some decisions for the better and you my friend being the man...well, that is up to you.

I recommend that you go home tonight prepared to talk to her like a man. Suggest sleeping apart and even spend some time apart (friends house)? You offer to do whatever you can to create space. One thing I know is that it sounds to me like you're far too comfortable to make a move and this could be very dangerous, especially if you're hoping for friendship and ultimately..getting her back?

Working hard has it's obvious drawbacks but, everyone works hard? we all have to work hard at everything we do and especially the relationships with those we love.

Think about the times when you were both happy and in love and bring those feelings back with new ideas and a determined effort to make both of you happy again. Women love to be loved and romance is the key to unlocking a world of potential.
 
PoleY_15 said:
it does sound as if the relationship is there to be saved if you wanted
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Agree totally

This situation seems more to be a cry out. The old saying that women say one thing and mean another really cries out to me here. I don't mean trying to jump her when you come back from the pub, I just think trying to spend some time with her again might make both people happy again. Go for a walk together, have a coffee in a cafe (not greasy spoon cafe), you don't have to wine and dine, just spend some time together. Even friends do that....you don't have to want to get back with her, but your mental well being is the most important thing here, and if you become more comfortable with everything, then it has to be good.

I could never live in the position you are in at the moment, and all credit for holding on there. Good luck which ever way you want it to go.
 
Ok I have read most if not all of the replies here. I wont quote because that takes too long and I am in a rush.

Ok for a start. We both love each other BUT not in love. There is a difference. Just like you love your brother or best mate type love. That is all we have got. We have been BEST friends over the last 6 months or so. So that will remain as is.

The main reason we are still in same bed is because our house mate is in one room and in the last room is my missus mum. Dont ask.

We are happy as we are. She is going her own way and so am I but in no rush to do so. Yes we will eventually meet someone else but until then things remain the same apart from our status and the fact we have no need to know where either of us are unless we want to tell.

We are going to have christmas together with the rest of the family, who do not yet know about us, and then proceed to sort out finances and the house. etc.

I have told her to stop over more at her mates where she works as it will reduce the work load and traveling time/distance for her. It will give her time to chill out and enjoy herslef a little more with her friends from work. Me, it will give me time to go to the pub with my work mates and chill not having to worry about when she will be back or that sort of thing. We are going to do our own thing now but still live with each other.

You may think it wont work and I dont blame you but we know it will. Thats how our friendship has been. What we are doing now is the best thing for us. Trust me. It wont make things hard or awkward in anyway. Only when we decided to mention 'someone else' Which we will respect each others feelings and not rub it in the face. Yes this first chat about 'I am seeing someone' from either of us will hurt as it would even if we didnt live together, but its something we shall deal with when the time arises.

We will remain friends for the rest of our lives (we do really hope so, both of us) as we propbably be using the house as an investment between us and carry on using it buying and selling etc.

Like my missus (now ex sorry )said that night. I have been a part of her life for over 4 years and she wants me to be part of it for more and I feel the same way. There is no reason in 3 months we both leave and get a place each. Keep in touch and live our own lives and you never know. We could get back together. Im am not ruling this out and neither is she. Just have to wait and see. The way things are is not difficult as some of you say. We are happy and just wish you could understand that what we are doing is actually for the best for both of us..

:)

Edit: We cant spend moretime with each other due to the ammount of work we both do and days off do not match. She is Mon to Fri 6am till 4pm (normaly 6pm or even 11pm -middnight) and I am Mon-Sun 6am till whenever..
 
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well good luck mate. although the majority opinion seems to be that you will struggle in the situation, its each to their own and if you and your ex feel that the current arrangement is good then maybe it is. hope it all works out
 
I've never managed to 'stay friends' with any of my exes - and I was with one for almost 10 years! I thought that we would always stay friends, but she met someone else and that was that. A clean break is the only way to go, it only takes much longer for you both to move on.

I know the 'love but not 'in love' thing too, I've been there a few times before and I just wanted something more...
 
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