Funniest Thing a Mechanic has said to you!

jongeeone said:
Took my L200 Warrior in for its first service, told the chap that the drivers seat was making a squeaky noise over bumps (anoying). Come back an hour later and he says.... "Sorry we could not recreate the noise" - So ok, i drive off - 'squeak'. SIGH.

Also, the in the front passanger footwell, some fascia had come off, so to fit it - he took a screw out the dor handle fascia and used that, so every time i open the door now, the handel literally comes off.
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how did you sort out the squeaking seat in the end?

I got one in my golf.
 
Stonedofmoo said:
"I've done about 100 Saab head gaskets, but I've done about 500 Rovers. I'm always getting them in"

Made me laugh when I thought of the owners on here who claim otherwise :)
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What can I say, they must be unlucky :D :p

Never happened to me, but I've heard stories of many mechanics saying to Rover owners "Ahhh yes, this is a Honda engine".

Despite it saying 'Rover' on the cam cover :D
 
blade007 said:
how did you sort out the squeaking seat in the end?

I got one in my golf.
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snap :mad:

Took it to my garage 3 times over it... Squeaks when I pull away at 3000+ rpm and the clutch engages/bites

Its really annoying and they kept saying "cant find a squeak" - So I took the mechanic out and showed him... who said "ahh , dunno where to start on that one, no idea where it is coming from". They tell me to book it in again when they have more time, I did this and they come back at the end of the day and said "mechanic cant find a squeak?"

I was cross to say the least, because I have to take it to VW now :(
 
agw_01 said:
What can I say, they must be unlucky :D :p

Never happened to me, but I've heard stories of many mechanics saying to Rover owners "Ahhh yes, this is a Honda engine".

Despite it saying 'Rover' on the cam cover :D
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Honda supplied 1.6l engines for the 216 from about 1989. And the 416 as well in 1990.
 
I remember being told by a mechanic. If the noise comes back then return the vehicle I will try something else. £235 worse off and a month later the squeal has returned, return the car to find the garage is under new ownership. Apparently he now lives in Italy :(
 
i know alternators on there own more then that before fitting, those new regulated charge jobbies can be mighty expensive.

a customer threatened to take us to trading standards for quoting £470 for a MAF on a nissan micra, we would have only made £40 profit on it :(
 
dalin80 said:
i know alternators on there own more then that before fitting, those new regulated charge jobbies can be mighty expensive.
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Most expensive alternator ive ever came across is a water cooled Merc one, came in near £500, after that its probably around £300.
 
we fitted a £320 one to a audi a4 last week, some new alternators come with the useless ability to switch themselves off when the ecu thinks your overtaking someone this does 2 things-

1, frees up about 0.00001bhp
2, triples the price

ford are very keen on this tech now and there units in particular will be surprising people in a few winters.
 
Oh, and another one. I was desperate for a pair of new front calipers a couple of months ago. I couldn't find them anywhere new, refurbished or otherwise. In the end I rang Honda, and asked for a price for a pair. The guy said £320 inc VAT. I asked whether that was for the pair. He said no :(:mad:

You can buy Spoon calipers for less from some Honda service centers. I searched a bit harder and got a pair from a scrappy in the end. Not fun driving around for a week, waiting for a caliper to seize on the disc and cause merry hell again.
 
After having a couple of new tyres put on at kwikfit and told that for another issue I'd better take my car (Seat Toledo) back to BMW to get them to put it on diagnostics. Pointed out that BMW don't own Seat and it's VAG, to be told but BMW own VAG, they are the same company, they own all the German makes...
 
i had my shocks replaced and they left the gaiters and bump stops off.
when i went back to ask them why, he said the gaiters were hard to get back on, so left them off and when i asked about the rubber bumpstops , he said there not bumpstops and were not needed.
i didnt go back there again after they had fitted the missing parts
kam autos in long eaton , if you live near there please give them a miss
 
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Conversation with a guy at the Renault garage after bending over and spending £150 on a spare key for my Clio:

Renault: "Here's your key. We did a complementary clean and something or other point check. Your front right suspension is completely broken and needs to be replaced. Its dangerous to drive and I really shouldn't let you leave with it like that. Oh and your brake pads are worn and need replacing."
Me: "Funny that, the brake pads are new from its MOT yesterday and the MOT didn't notice any broken suspension?"
Renault: *Sheepish look on face*

Yeah we jacked it up and double checked the suspension back home, it's perfectly fine.
 
we hear main dealer stories like that all the time, bmw in particular are very keen on claiming perfectly fine brakes are knackered.

a guy near us had his fto fail a mot on emissions a new cat and lambda sensor set him back nearly £900, the garage ignored that it wasnt a listed vehicle for uk emissions so doesnt apply for a full emissions check. to get around this they relisted the vehicle as a mistubishi cordia. very dodgy.
 
Myself, VW wouldn't couldn't fix my Golf as it wasn't actually running on 3 cylinders when I took it in, when it did go, the onboard computer didn't report an actual fault, and it took them a day to figure out it was a computer chip that controls the coil packs based on the fuel mixture or something.

Cost £450! :eek:

Funniest thing lately was a guy at work has a Jag with Bluetooth handsfree, and it had malfunctioned, the Jag garage told him it was because of an incompatible phone had been used with it!
 
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