Oh and when you have young children it's essential to get out of the house at least once a day if possible. I notice a big difference in myself when I don't get out so I make sure I walk to pick the kids up during the day. It helps when you have school aged ones so you have to get them to school but even trips to the park or short walks really help; fresh air does you the world of good. I have a 5 and a half year old, 4 year old and a 9 month old.
Marriage & Arguing
- Thread starter .Kencs
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Soldato
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I think people in a long term relationship need to argue. Otherwise where is the passion in the relationship?
Also people in a long term relationship need to have some differences (and this will occasionally lead to arguments) as two people that are too similar are just way to dull to work - long term.
Finally a man and woman will never see eye-to-eye on some things. For example my wife cannot understand how a £500 pound mountain bike is "entry level" and that I will need a new one in a year that will cost a lot more and that I also need an expensive road bike. Same as I don't understand why we need new carpets or to spend lots of money on a new kitchen.
Thank god she doesn't do shoes but when we where in Harrods a month ago the handbag price made my eyes water!
Soldato
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lol at "need to argue", what rubbish
Man of Honour
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I've been with mine for over 32 years total and we've never really had arguments.
Wow 32 years
I look forward to being able to say that 9 and a half years together for us and nearly 6 married, seems like nothing compared to you It clearly works for you so that's great. I think a lot depends on both personalities and how they react to each other. I'm quite fiery and stubborn and so tend to be argumentative at times and Cliff is quite stubborn so we get stuck hehe 
I think as long as you are both committed then it doesn't matter if you argue or not. I don't believe that women and men can't understand each other though, I think it's more to do with personalities than sex.
Man of Honour
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Wow 32 years
We had our first snog at 14 but started seriously at 16.
We got married at 21 and we've been married 27 years.
Its worked because she lets me do whatever I want and we both trust each other.
I think our relationship has changed since we've got older. I have changed a lot, I used to be so jealous and possessive when I was younger that it seems like a different person to me now. He's changed a lot too but thankfully we grew together. We didn't get together as young as you did (19 and 20), how did you find that?
We are so comfortable with each other now and trust each other totally so it makes life a lot easier. We don't get out much at the moment as the kids are so young but when the opportunity arises neither of us minds the other going out.
Man of Honour
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I suppose it was normal back in 74.
In fact you never heard of people living together and even when we were 21 (1980) the thought never crossed our minds to live together.
We got married so we could live together.
Diane has never been jealous and never bothered when I cheated on her during our 5 years courting.
Of course I've never cheated once I got married.
She is not the jealous type and even after gigs I may have women chatting & kissing me and she nevers bats an eyelid.
She normally says something like "That blond bit would give you an heart attack".
Associate
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I GET THIS TOO!!!!
I have to do three loads of washing on my day off (no big deal, is only washing), but the washing was still there the day before, when she was home. Granted she was doing some college work (distance learning, spare time stuff) but putting a load of washing on is hardly time consuming.
And...'Why didn't you do blahblah?'...it needed doing....
Huh? okay, well, you've been home from work 3 hours longer than me, so why didnt you do it....That one always ends up in me getting tickled, and then chased around the flat.
I really dont mind doing stuff, and probably would do it anyway, but she has this...way of putting things/tone of voice....that implies that its my job to do it because she's in charge.
We dont argue though. We just get sarcastic, which devolves into childish namecalling followed by me getting tickled mercilessly.
Yes- im very, very ticklish and she uses it to her advantage, the wench.
TG
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Wow, I wouldn't have had you pegged as that naive.
Believe me I'm not, knowing our relationship as I do and what we've been through I'm confident in saying that. When I married it was for life, I didn't take those vows lightly.
You could'nt be more wrong matey. I've been married 8 years, and with each other for 10. We've NEVER had an argument in that time as I said earlier, but we lust after each other more now than we ever have, and we've just had a new baby 4 weeks ago.
Just don't see the point in falling out over trivial things that really have zero effect on the relationship as a whole.
I've found the trick to be to never take each other for granted...
I wouldnt say for one second that Jodie is Naive, shes confident in her relationship and wouldnt just walk away the first time they hit problems as so many people do these days it seems. First sign of a bump and theyre out the door.
Its been really nice to read all these accounts of couples who have been together for years and years in harmony, gives me hope some poor fool might put up with me one day
I wouldnt say for one second that Jodie is Naive, shes confident in her relationship and wouldnt just walk away the first time they hit problems as so many people do these days it seems. First sign of a bump and theyre out the door.
Its been really nice to read all these accounts of couples who have been together for years and years in harmony, gives me hope some poor fool might put up with me one day
You're right
I'm sure you will find someone when the time is right and they will be lucky to have you
Soldato
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You (and McManicMan) have misunderstood what I was trying to say.
I was not saying that people in a relationship or marriage should argue over pointless things. I meant that there should be times when you argue as if you never argue then something isn't right - you need to fall out sometimes. I have been married for four years and been with her for seven yet we have only ever really argued twice!
I did not mean passion as in sex but rather passion as in sticking to your guns and arguing your point! Fire in your belly, so to speak...
I think your closing remark is the absolute truth and the secret to a long term relationship. I never take my wife for granted as she is singly the best thing in my life and if I snooze I lose!
Anyone who has never had an argument strikes me as being wierd.
Surely nothing can always be that peachy. Fair enough for the first year tops, but after a while you must have disagreements.
otherwise i think someone is holding back their true feelings on things.
Surely nothing can always be that peachy. Fair enough for the first year tops, but after a while you must have disagreements.
otherwise i think someone is holding back their true feelings on things.
Quite the opposite I would say, it's hiding feelings or fears and not being totally open and trusting with your partner that escilates into an argument down the line. I'm not married but been in a serious relationship for over 2 and a half years and never come close to an argument. If we were going to argue I'm confident I would spot it coming a mile off and do my very best to prevent it, I think she would be the same.
People like to cling onto their ego and sometimes when a relationship is going too well they will feel like they are loosing their identity. This often makes one person cause a bit of bother or negativity so they can feel their ego and identity come back. You might think this sounds very odd but it's true, lots of relationsips are kind of a love hate relationship played out in the head. Sometimes you love then sometimes you can't stand them depending if they are feeding the needs and wants of you ego or not.
True love doesn't work like that hence it is said to be unconditional.
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