Would you want a girl you'd been seeing for 3 months to stay...

yantorsen said:
tbh if you dont even love her then whats the point of the whole thing?!

it's out of order on the girl if you ask me. (the relationship that is)

does she have mates in spain she could stay with?
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Why? why does it always have to be love? I care for her but I just cannot love her- just the way it is. She probably knows, yet still chooses to stay with me.

And no she doesn't. Her friends in Spain are all going to their families for Christmas and she plans to stay at her apartment on her own.
 
yantorsen said:
tbh if you dont even love her then whats the point of the whole thing?!

it's out of order on the girl if you ask me. (the relationship that is)

does she have mates in spain she could stay with?
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What I was going to say too TBH.


The trouble with that is I wouldn't want to break up with someone, knowing also, that they would be alone in more ways than one over Christmas!

Let her come but start to wind down the relationship by not being so close, treat her more as a friend, once you've both gone back to Spain, drop the bombshell and be done with it.


but she is really fit and I long to be in your shoes right now, because in my eyes, she's a keeper!!
Grow some balls!



Andy
 
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yantorsen said:
it's out of order on the girl if you ask me. (the relationship that is)
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I agree with that. Sounds like you're using her for entertainment while you're in Spain but don't really care enough about her to put yourself out.

I'd wager that your family would be more comfortable with you bringing "some foreign girl" home that would otherwise be alone for Christmas rather than knowing they're related to someone who'd treat another person like that.

Shameful
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Bes said:
Why? why does it always have to be love? I care for her but I just cannot love her- just the way it is. She probably knows, yet still chooses to stay with me.

And no she doesn't. Her friends in Spain are all going to their families for Christmas and she plans to stay at her apartment on her own.
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well if its not love then ** using her!

whats the point out of the relationship? you said urself she gets on ** nerves, so is it just for kicks?

still guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that one.
 
I never said she gets on my nerves... I said sometimes I need some space- some time away from here as I spend practically every waking moment with her in Spain and it just gets too much for me sometimes.
 
You're being a bit of a **** tbh. Let her stay, just because you're fortunate enough to be able to spend your christmas with someone. Try putting yourself in her shoes (not literally though, cos that'd be mental)
 
Are there any other issues here, does your family even know she exsists?

I have been seeing my gf for 5 months now and she is spending xmas with my family. We all get on really well. I can see where your coming as its no fun living out of each other pockets, trouble is you have put yourself in a corner, tell her no and its over.

I would rather take a chance and say yes, what have you got to loose, unless as most ppl have said and you see her as your bit on the side???
 
Bes said:
Hmm well now I don't know what to do:

On the one hand, I know that once I leave Madrid, this situation with her is going to end- I can't and don't want to carry on any kind of long distance relationship when my work in Madrid is done. By inviting her, I think it would kind of set a bad precedent for the way forward. Additionally, I don't know what my family will make of me brining some foreign girl to my mum's house over Xmas. They'll pretend not to mind, but I don't know...

On the other hand, I know its bad to leave her alone over xmas.
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Ring them and ask if its alright, and ask for an honest answer?

To be fair mate, she's gorgeous. Get a kinky Santa suit for her and bring her home... its such a waste for her to be sat there alone.



Alternatively, forward her my address and I'll keep her company over christmas.
 
Wow, I thought I was cold and heartless, but leaving your girlfriend on her own for Christmas when she phones up crying and begging to be with you? Shocking tbh.
 
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Do you have a flat or your own house not too far from your mothers? If you do maybe you could have her spend christmas there and you can have quality time her inbetween the time you spend with your family.
 
Along with many others your behaviour appears to be disgusting.

IF you care for her you would not be treating her this way.

Either way you need to be far more honest with her in regards to your feelings so she can move on and find someone more honest.

She appears to be nothing more than a comfort blanket for you to stop you feeling lonely in Madrid and yet as soon as she needs the same comfort you are willing to abandon her in a foreign city at a time of the year when you should not be left alone.

Take a long look and see how you would feel if the situation was the reverse...
 
Bes said:
Why? why does it always have to be love? I care for her but I just cannot love her- just the way it is. She probably knows, yet still chooses to stay with me.
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Why don't you tell her that directly...and then call the relationship off because you are wasting her time? Be honest with yourself and her, because it looks like she has the wrong impression of where the relationship is headed.
 
I disagree with most people here. True love isnt a thing you can easily build over 3 months, hell thats nothing for a relationship.

I was the same 3 months into mine, i enjoyed spending time with my missus etc, but i still needed my own time alone, it was still a stage where we were both learning about eachother.

Give the guy a break, 4-5 days is hardly end of the world. If you feel you will benefit from this break, go for it, especially only 3 months in!
 
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