German jokes.

monkeypants got most of his jokes from the old Channel 4 teletext pages of Digitiser (there are archives on the web)
 
Majago said:
My German may be a little rusty but my German teacher at secondary school told me this one and I think it went as follows:

Warum heist Canada, 'Canada'? Weil es gibt keine da!

Translates into English as "Why is Canada called 'Canada'? Because no-one lives there. Hilarious.
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Quite good that. Gonna have to try that one on my Mum sometime. :D
 
Aod said:
:D

what does it translate to?
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Complete gibberish. Don't you know your Monty Python?



Warum heist Canada, 'Canada'? Weil es gibt keine da!

Translates into English as "Why is Canada called 'Canada'? Because no-one lives there. Hilarious.
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You had noticed that this is a (rather poor) pun in the original German right? Keine da? Canada?




Genuine German joke -

Q: what's the difference between a Saxon and a Turk? A: The Turk has a job and can speak German.

Like most such jokes, only useful if you understand the state of Saxony. And the horrible local accent.


M
 
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Azza said:
PDVD_036.jpg
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A couple of years ago I was with a couple of American colleagues who happen to love Monty Python. It started off fairly quietly - little laughs at the Parrot sketch etc. Moved on to the Ministry of Silly Walks - got a bit louder. Moved on to Fawlty Towers and 'Don't mention the War' and a rather good reenactment by me of the above sketch....



... only then remembering that we were sitting in the lobby of the Hilton hotel in Frankfurt... :eek: :D
 
Meridian said:
You had noticed that this is a (rather poor) pun in the original German right? Keine da? Canada?
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I had indeed realised that - hence why I posted the joke in the first place! In fact I actually quite like it as I like jokes that are plays on words.

It loses something in translation hence my comment of 'hilarious' - sorry for any confusion :)
 
Meridian said:
Q: what's the difference between a Saxon and a Turk? A: The Turk has a job and can speak German.

Like most such jokes, only useful if you understand the state of Saxony. And the horrible local accent.
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Oi! My girlfriend was born in Saxony!
She wasn't fond of it though, she moved over here ten years ago.
 
Majago said:
Tell this to your girlfriend, it'll have her in stitches:

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
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Awesome variation on a classic.
 
gumbald said:
Not when the people on here know what I'm talking about. I'll upgrade my life ambition to verbally saying one of these jokes to a German to see their reaction :)
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It'd probably be the same as mine, we'd laugh. More at the sterotype then the jokes mind, but laugh anyway ;)

Burnsy
 
Did anyone hear Scott Mills last night, trying to dispell the French and German stereotypes? Very funny :D
 
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